What the fokque?

But I'm mostly very tired

2006-01-28T21:54:00.000-01:00

Life sucks.

That's it.

My love cliché

2006-01-19T10:09:00.000-01:00

You see I met her on a Monday
And her name was Chill
From the what-the-hell family's
Relation to free will
Yeah she circled my circumference
Said she had some time to kill
Been combing the beach for a beautiful freak
And I just might fit the bill
She said

Ooh, I think I'm liking you
Ooh, do you feel the same the way too?
I said, ooh, I think I do
I said, ooh, I think you're cute
I said, ooh, merci beaucoup
I said, ooh ooh
And maybe I'm calling you baby
And I might just say you're my love cliché

You're my love cliché
And I like it that way

So we fell in love that summer
Underneath the Star Wars sign
Drinking cases of each other
And guitar and April Wine
And we lay down in the alley
As the sunlight hit the pine
And talked of all things great
Like the rose of Gertrude Stein
And we fell in love that summer
But it lasted 18 weeks
Used to kiss her on the hummer
Now I kiss her on the cheek
And I vividly remember
In a moment of recline
When she whispered in my ear
"I think I like both kinds"

She said, ooh, I think I do
I said, ooh, I think you're cute
She said, ooh, merci beaucoup
I said, ooh ooh
And maybe I'm chasing Amy
And I might just say you're my love cliché

You're my love cliché
And I like it that way

I'm feeling love

So why don't you tell me what's great?

When the puck hits the net
At the Stanley Cup game
And Miles hits the notes
When he sketches out of Spain
And the wedding gets you high
From the perfect catering
And love makes you lie
Eventhough you bought the ring
And you screw with your spy
And the minor chord change
And the more things change
The more they stay the same
But I'm looking for your kind
Yeah I'll drive through the driving rain
'Cause what was so wrong
From the very beginning
That we would have to change

You're my love cliché
And I like it that way

And maybe I'm calling you baby
And I might just say you're my love cliché

I'm in love

It's been a while

2006-01-18T19:01:00.000-01:00

Well hello my friend,

Guess it's been a while no hasn't it? I know; I should mail you more often. It's all my fault. I've been far too busy with things that aren't that important.

I haven't seen you in a while now, have I? Again, I was busy. I was in my own little world. I was busy building bridges. In my own little world I am queen.

I was watching some snowboard vids. I now realize how much I miss Austria and the snow. Maybe it is time to say hi to this wonderful country. I mean; my family lives there. What do I have here? I'm getting more and more the feeling that it's suffocating me. Me and my board, that's the thing that makes me truly happy. And in this era it isn't that far away anymore. Maybe I should begin to think of other options. Options I had never really thought of before.

Another question in life that should be answered.

Well. Till soon.

This was my year

2005-12-14T16:47:00.000-01:00

As the year is ending I'd like to contemplate about the things I've done.
I've met some great friends. I've met my best friend. I've been to the best concerts ever. I've had some great times with my friends. I got a new job. My dog. My plans to move to antwerp. Just everything. Ofcourse things sucked; some things didn't work out the way I wanted. Well, shit happens. I've overcome all of those things.

I only have one thing I'll do differently next year:
I'll try be be more relaxed. But then again, if I'm going to be more relaxed I'll be dead.

I don't get moved by much

2005-12-12T11:45:00.000-01:00

We share a culture same vernacular
Love of physical humor and time spent alone
You with your penchant for spontaneous advents
For sticky and raspy, unearthed and then gone

You are a gift renaissance with a wink
With tendencies for conversations that raise bars
You are a sage who is fueled by compassion
Comes to nooks and crannies as balm for all scars

You are a spirit that knows of no limit
That knows of no ceiling who baulks at dead-ends
You are a wordsmith who cares for her brothers
Not seduced by illusion or fair-weather friends

You are a vision who lives by the signals of
Stomach and intuition as your guide
You are a sliver of god on a platter
Who walks what she talks and who cops when she's lied

---------------------------------------------------------

Isn't it easy sometimes to describe a person?

Until I'm fine

2005-11-28T20:37:00.000-01:00

My life rocks. I'm so fucking happy at the moment. No particular reason. Just because. Ik kan er niets aan doen. Ik heb de hele dag gewerkt en leuke dingen (wederom) meegemaakt, ik heb het beste maatje van de hele wereld, ik heb een geniale hond en ik vermaak me met alles wat ik doe. Vandaag was weer geniaal. Ik had sowieso wel zin in mijn werk en ging vol goede moed naar Dinteloord. Rond 4 uur kwam er een vrachtwagen langs om pallets te lossen en te laden. Normaal mogen die mensen doorrijden, lossen en weer van het terrein af. Omdat meneer nu moest laden, besloot ik hem in te wegen, te laten lossen, uit te laten wegen, weer in te wegen, laden en uit te wegen. Dit heb ik hem ook zo uitgelegd. Na ongeveer anderhalf uur kwam meneer terug. Hij hield zijn weegpasje maar niet voor de scanner en daarop besloten mijn collega en ik te wachten tot hij naar binnen zou komen om te vragen wat hij nou wilde. Na een minuut of 10 kwam hij naar binnen en vroeg of de slagboom nog open ging. Na een verbaasde blik van ons ( 'Moet jij niet uitwegen dan?) zei de schavuit dat hij al geladen was. Hier begint het:

Ik: Maar ik heb jou toch gezegd dat je in moest wegen, moest lossen, uitwegen, inwegen, laden en daarna uitwegen?
Hij: Ja dat vind ik belachelijk. Dat doe ik niet.
Mijn collega: *grinnik*
Ik: Que?
Hij: Ik vind het belachelijk en ik ga niet in discussie met je.
Ik: Dat moet je ook zeker niet doen want dat verlies je.
Collega: *Ligt onder tafel*
Hij: Hoe dan ook............
Ik: Het is heel simpel. Jij gaat NU van het terrein af. Snel terug naar huis.

Vervolgens vervolgde meneer zijn weg zonder ook maar wat te zeggen. God, wat had ik het naar mijn zin. Ergens diep van binnen weet ik dat ik een zeer goede dictator zou zijn. Het hele land zou angstig wegrennen zodra ik weer van me liet horen. Op zich verandert er dus niets. Alles lijkt prima te gaan op dit moment. Motto van de week is om alles 'step by step' te doen. Aan de blog van mijn maatje te zien, zitten we weer geniaal op één lijn.

Soit, half één. Tijd om mijn bedje op te zoeken. Ik ben in ieder geval vrij met kerst. 10 december, wanneer ik naar Oostenrijk wil, moet ik nog even regelen want ze zijn vergeten om me 4 dagen vrij te geven in plaats van de twee die ik nu heb. Met oud en nieuw moet ik werken van 3 tot 11. Ach, dan ben ik tenminste om 12 uur thuis. Een paar nachtdiensten van 11 tot 7 zitten er ook tussen. Waarvan 4 in Puttershoek. Ik ben benieuwd wat deze maand me allemaal gaat brengen. Ik ga mijn rooster nog even op mijn pc zetten en dan ga ik lekker mijn oogjes toedoen.

What a shitty day

2005-11-16T13:38:00.000-01:00

First of all, I'm sure you don't read my blog anymore, but I just wanted to say I'm sorry about yesterday. I shouldn't have sent you that message. But it's just.. Well I don't know. It's my birthday and my best friend isn't here. I shouldn't have said that. I had no right. So I apologize to you. I'm sorry.

Hell, I'm saying I'm sorry online. Guess I'm just growing up.

Another boring blog

2005-11-12T21:16:00.000-01:00

I miss you more than Michael Bay missed the mark,
When he made Pearl Harbor.
I miss you more then that movie missed the point,
And that’s an awful lot girl.
And now, now you've gone away,
And all I'm trying to say,
Is Pearl Harbor sucked and I miss you

I need you like Ben Affleck needs acting school,
He was terrible in that film.
I need you like Cuba Gooding needed a bigger part,
He's way better then Ben Affleck.
And now all I can think about is your smile,
And that shitty movie too,
Pearl Harbor sucked and I miss you

Why does Michael Bay get to keep on making movies.
I guess Pearl Harbor sucked,
Just a little bit more then I miss you.

Falling feels like this

2005-10-26T13:28:00.000-01:00

You were my mentor
You were my best friend
you were my saviour
You were my teacher
You were my partner
You were my lover
You were my anchor
You were my sister
You were my family
You were my keeper

You were my very own symphatic character

And there in lays the issue
And there in lays the problem

Take my hand, we'll make it I swear

2005-10-25T19:57:00.000-01:00

Let's have dinner... Let's see what happens...

The next thing I find

2005-10-25T13:14:00.000-01:00

might be the thing that changes everything. I've been thinking: I want to see your eyes open up real wide the moment you see me. But then again, since when are you interested in beauty? Well I've been since I met you. I must have rehearsed my lines a thousand times until I had them memorized. I never had the nerve to tell you.

I say 'Science, beauty, love and hope.' Beauty, because it is the one thing that will never dissapear. Hope, because it's the one think no one has found a way to kill. Love, because your love is the only thing that keeps me alive. Science, because it will reveal the truth. I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I'm with you. So I'm beginning to think that maybe it's not how much you love someone. Maybe what matters is who you are when you're around them. I was dying to tell you, but scared of your reaction.

I want to say 'I love you' and I wish that I had told you before I left today. Can you believe I'd swallow my pride?

Take a good look, it might be your last.

Am I that easy to ignore?

2005-10-24T19:17:00.000-01:00

With life travelling at 100 miles per hour maybe one day you can find the time to say I love you. But the greatest gift I'll give you is to stand by your side. Not letting you out of my sight.
We wake up one morning, and we realize that for 5o years we haven't been living at all. Then someone young and beautiful comes along. Someone who we could really take care for. She offers us a new life with her.
You're the reason I sing in the shower. You're the inspiration for a milion lovesongs. I'm leaking life faster than I'm leaking blood. I love you. Unfortunately you're out of my reach. Have fun.

Play all the games you want to play, so that we stay away.
Believe me, I'm better off alone.

Politiek

2005-10-24T13:15:00.000-01:00

Zo, en nu eerst een mateloos zaaddodend en zuigend verhaal.

Ah, het is weer bijna verkiezingstijd. Dus kruipt elke bijstandsharrie onder zijn steen vandaag en schrijft wat standaard verkiezings-slogans. Al die 'groenlinks' mavo intellectuelen laten weer van zich horen. Mijn god, wat een dubbele hersenbloeding en een paar liter alcohol per dag wel niet kunnen aanrichten. Ik denk dat als ik nu begin met drinken ik rond 12 uur vanavond he-le-maal op één lijn lig met onze geliefde politici. Ze zijn kostelijk komisch, recht in de leer, rigide en doordrenkt van een alles verzengende haat jegens alles en iedereen dat geen beroep hoeft te doen op de Bijstand.

Geachte heer Balkenende,

Ik merk op dat u:
a: uw Nederlandse taal bar slecht beheerst zowel mondeling als in geschrift;
b: er zienswijzen op na houdt die overkomen met de stelling 2+2=5
c: u die zienswijzen met de grootste oogkleppen op blijft verdedigen, tegen beter weten in wellicht;
d: de plank voor uw hoofd van deugdelijk materiaal is gemaakt.

Politiek = andere mensen overtuigen van jouw visie.
Overtuigen doe je door te communiceren.
Voor communicatie is een middel nodig dat door anderen begrepen wordt, bijvoorbeeld de Nederlandse taal.
En hoewel u het zelf volgens mij niet helemaal door hebt, kan ik u verzekeren dat uw gebrabbel niet onder de noemer 'Nederlandse taal' valt. Ik begrijp er persoonlijk geen snars van en ik heb het vermoeden dat ik niet de enige ben.
Dus doe jezelf een plezier en neem een McJob. Kunt u beginnen met het communiceren van een Big Mac Menu.

Jan-Peter, veel succes je politieke carriere, de groeten aan het één-en-twintigste chromosoom en bedenk dat Down ook maar een saaie lul was..

Misschien is de politiek wel iets voor mij.

What if

2005-10-22T06:55:00.000-01:00

What if you could go back in time and take all those hours of pain and darkness and replace them with something better?

Nederland...................

2005-10-21T08:30:00.000-01:00

Kom uit het land van Pim Fortuin en Volkert van de G.
Het land van Theo van Gogh en Mohammed B
Kom uit het land van kroketten, frikadellen
Die je tot aan de Spaanse kust kunt bestellen
Kom uit het land waar Air Max nooit uit de mode raken
Waar ze je kraken op het moment dat je het groot gaat maken
Kom uit het land van rood-wit-blauw en de gouden leeuw
Plunderen de wereld noemen het de gouden eeuw
Kom uit het land van wietplantages en fietsvierdaagses
Het land waar je een junkie om een fiets kan vragen
Het land dat kampioen werd in ‘88
Het land van haring happen, dijken en grachten
Kom uit het land van, het land van Lange Fransie
Dit is het land waar ik thuis kom na vakantie

Kom uit het land waar ik in 1982 geboren ben
Waar ik me guldens aan de euro verloren ben
Het land dat meedoet aan de oorlog in Irak
Want ome Bush heeft Balkenende in zijn zak
Het land van gierig zijn een rondje geven is te duur
de vette hap van de Febo trek je uit de muur
Het land van rellen tussen Ajax en Feyenoord
Maar wanneer Oranje speelt iedereen er bij hoort
Het land van Johan Cruijf en Abe Lenstra
Het legioen laat de leeuw niet in zijn hemd staan
Het land waar we elke dag hopen op wat beter weer
Die Piet Paulusma vertrouw ik voor geen meter meer
Het land dat vrij is sinds ‘45
Het land waar ik blijf, 'k vind het er heerlijk
Eerlijk

Ik kom uit het land waar je door heen rijdt in 3 uurtjes
Met een ander dialect elke 10 minuutjes
Kom uit het land waar op papier een plek voor iedereen is
En XTC export nummer 1 is
Kom uit het land waar Andre Hazes
Over 100 jaar in elk café nog steeds de baas is
Kom uit het land waar Peter, Gert-Jan, Raymond en Jutten
Frans, Bart en Ali de game runnen
Kom uit het land waar hiphop een kind van 30 is
En je mag zelf weer gaan vullen hoe vet dat is
Het land waar als je rijk wordt je zoveel inlevert
Dat je bij jezelf denkt hoeveel zin heeft het?
Het land waar prostitutie en blowen mag
Het land van sinterklaas en koninginnedag
Dit is het land waar ik verloren heb, bedrogen ben
Kom uit het land waar ik geboren en getogen ben

Kom uit het land met de meeste culturen per vierkante meter
Maar men is bang om bij de buren te gaan eten
En integratie is een schitterend woord
Maar shit het is fucking bitter wanneer niemand het hoort
Ik deel mijn land met Turken en Marokanen,
Antilianen, Molukkers en Surinamers
Het land waar we samen veels te veel opkroppen
En wereldwijd gerepresenteerd zijn door Harry Potter
Het land waar apartheid, internationaal
het meest bekende woord is uit de Nederlandse taal
Kom uit het land wat tikt als een tijdbom
Het land dat eet om zes uur en ook nog eens op tijd komt
Dit is het land waar ik zal overwinnen aan het einde
Totdat je deze meezingt aan de ArenA-lijnen
En tot die tijd zal ik schijnen ik heb mijn hart verpand
Dit is voor Nederland

----------------------------------------------------------------

Al bij al leef ik in een heel mooi landje. We hebben inderdaad een overvloed aan culturen. Ik doe niets liever dan door Amsterdam of Rotterdam slenteren op een regenachtige dag. Het liefste in combinatie met wat vrienden en een Ierse Pub. De Surinaamse buurt in Rotterdam is geniaal.
Dit is het land waarin mensen nog vriendelijk tegen elkaar zijn en gebruiken in stand willen houden.
Als je dit zo leest ga je je echt afvragen waarom ik in godsnaam weg zou willen hier.

1 woord: politiek.
Er is hier een man die verdomd veel weg heeft van Harry Potter die mij zou moeten vertegenwoordigen. Hoe kun je zulke mensen serieus nemen? Eigenlijk hoort er nog een couplet in het nummer hierboven:
Ik woon in het land waarin politiek gelijk staat aan liegen
Het land waarin vertegenwoordigers je gewoon bedriegen
Het land waarbij Den Haag het middelpunt van diversiteit is
En waar schelden tegen een agent meteen jouw ongelijk is
Het land waar de flitspalen op één rechte lijn staan
Het land waarin 'probleemjongeren' niet zouden bestaan
Ik woon in het land waar politiek correct geen woord is
Waarbij een tasjesdief na 3 dagen cel nog steeds onverhoord is
Waar je na 5 minuten weer op straat staat
Waarbij de crimineel zo weer dezelfde winkel in gaat

Fuck Nederlandse politiek. Als er gewoon iets meer opgetreden zou worden zou het een stuk leuker zijn hier. Maar soit, van sommige dingen kun je alleen maar dromen.

Woowoowoowoowoodface!

2005-10-20T06:48:00.000-01:00

Oh gisteravond was geniaal! Allereerst kwamen we na een korte onderbreking aan in Brussel, mede dankzij Layla (lees; mijn telefoon), vervolgens rijden we langs de MacDonalds en opeens overal politie. Blijkbaar moest Anderlecht tegen Manchester spelen. Ik kan je vertellen; je wordt niet vrolijk van dronken Engelsen, maar soit. Even de auto aan de kant gezet en gevraagd aan een ME'er waar de AB was; 'Allez mevrouw, kijk eens aan de overkant van de straat'. 'Oh sorry agent, vriendelijk bedankt'. Ja, dat was weer een puntje op mijn repetoire van stomme dingen. Vervolgens gezocht naar een parkeerplaats en aangezien ik niet terug wilde langs de dronken hooligans in verband met het kunnen aanbrengen van schade aan mijn auto, hebben we hem half op een invalidenparkeerplaats gezet recht tegenover de AB. 5 euro aan zwervers gezeten die daar zaten en in mijn beste Frans gevraagd of ze ervoor wilde zorgen dat ze hooligans niet aan mijn auto kwamen. Toen kwamen we Evy en kornuiten tegen. De AB in gegaan en nog snel een biertje gedaan. Gitte en Karen tegengekomen! Thank god they were there! I love my Gitte and my Karen. Nougati, Coch, Evy, Belechou, Amandine, Anou, Sporty, mijn Marokkaan, Sas, Elin and all the others! Echt, de crowd was geniaal, as was Woodface. Zelfs het voorprogramma was geniaal. Pornorama, een aanrader.
Na heel de cd plus een nieuw nummer gespeeld te hebben, kwamen de heren nog eventjes terug; 'Ah wel, we hebben geen nummers meer, is het goed als we 'Something to break' nog een keer spelen?'. Hell yeah! Wat denk jij dan? Nog even met Anou en Frank en Hilde gepraat en toen was het tijd om te kijken of de auto er nog stond. Godzijdank was die er nog. De zwervers op mijn beste Frans nog een keer bedankt en toen richting huis. Niet eens een bon wegens parkeren op een invalidenplek! Die coppers hadden het gewoon veel te druk met al die hooligans. Echt, I had the time of my life! Thanks for everything. It was just perfect. It couldn't be any better than this! Thanks!

Vliegen: Geniaal edoch levensgevaarlijk

2005-10-19T07:45:00.000-01:00

Goed, velen van jullie denken dat ik maar een lethargisch persoon ben die nergens om geeft. Daar hebben jullie ook zeker gelijk in, maar er is toch één iets waarvan zelfs ik niet vrolijk word; Vliegen. 'Als God wilde dat we zouden vliegen dan zou hij ons wel vleugels gegeven hebben'. Aangezien ik geen gelovig persoon ben gaat deze stelling dus niet voor mij op.

Volgende week vrijdag vlieg ik pas naar Amerika, maar ik heb nu al de meest verschrikkelijke scenario's in mijn hoofd die Quentin Terrantino zelfs niet zou kunnen verzinnen. Ik zie het al helemaal voor me: 'De take-off, niets zo rustgevend als wanneer je gekatapulteerd wordt over de runway. Je ziet het vliegveld steeds kleiner worden en besluit een fles sterke drank ergens vandaan te toveren. Net op het moment dat zo'n oudbakken stuk toast van een purser naar je toe komt, hoor je een kleine knal. Natuurlijk maak jij je niet druk zolang de stewardessen en pursers maar rustig blijven. Je ziet hoe de kleine man met een vreemde lichaamsgeur begint te zweten en zenuwachtig naar de cabine kijkt. 'Beste man, wat is uw sterkste drank?', is je vraag. Op dat moment rent de goede man met vreemd odeur weg richting de cabine al gillende; 'we gaan eraan, we gaan eraan'. Dit is een mooi moment om in paniek te raken.'

Ik zal de rest van deze pessimistische denkbeelden maar voor me houden. Ik zit niet te wachten op de sterftecijfers omhoog te krikken door in een vliegtuig te gaan zitten. Dat is gewoon pure zelfmoord. Nee, gooi mij maar in een hybernatie. Ik wil heel die vliegreis niet eens meemaken. Ik ga a priori gezellig mezelf volgooien met kalmerende middelen en drank. Wedden dat dat een gigantische 'lights out' wordt? De kans dat iemand me van buitenaf apaiseert is vrij klein. Ik moet het doen met verdovende middelen. Hoe sneu is dat? Misschien wat Bellirium met Calciumfosfaat. Het is maar goed dat ik altijd zeer veel interesse getoond heb ik scheikunde. Dingen opblazen is okay. Helaas deelde mijn moeder niet mijn mening toen de magnetron opgeblazen was.

Voorlopig ga ik een nieuwe MP3 speler halen en zet daar nocturnes op van Bach en Beethoven. Misschien dat ik in een dromerige staat heel die vliegreis wel zal overleven. Straks ga ik nog aan querulantisme doen dankzij deze helse ervaring die mij te wachten staat.
Ik zal deze reis overleven. Ik heb veel te veel om nog voor te leven. Ik weet zeker dat ik een zeer bekwame piloot heb, en zeer gedreven stewards.

Quod Attestor!

Und etwas im Deutsch

2005-10-18T08:06:00.000-01:00

Ich freute mich auf den abend an dem ich hoffte dich zu sehn. Es war genauso schön wie früher, doch ich hatte angst zu dir zu gehn. Doch du nahms mich gar nicht war und mir war plötzlich klar; ich bin unsichtbar. Ich schaute dir nur hinterher und ich wünschte mir so sehr das du mich nur umarmst.

Wieso kenn ich dich nicht mehr ? Sag das nie doch ich liebte dich so sehr. Damals wars noch nicht so schwer, doch heut erreich ich dich nicht mehr.
Hier bin ich wenn du traurig bist und hier bin ich wenn du glücklich bist. Nirgendwo war ich so glücklich wie hier und nirgendwo hab ich so gelacht.

Ich brauch dich eigentlich nicht. Tut mir leid.

Subtle!

2005-10-17T21:10:00.000-01:00

I need a lover that won’t drive me crazy
I need a lover that won’t drive me mad
I need a lover that won’t drive me crazy
Some girl that knows the meaning of, ah-
Hey hit the highway!

Well I’ve been walking the streets up and down
Racin’ through the human jungle at night
I’m so confused, my mind is indifferent
Hey - I’m so weak, won’t somebody shut off the light?

Electricity runs thru the video
And I watch it from this hole I call home
And all them stories are dancin’ to the radio
And I got the world callin’ me up tonight on the phone

I need a lover that won’t drive me crazy
Some girl who’ll thrill me and then go away
I need a lover that won’t drive me crazy
Some girl that knows the meaning of ah-
Hey hit the highway!

Well I’m not wiped out by this poolroom life I’m livin’
I’m gonna quit this job, and go to school, and head back home
Now I’m not asking to be loved or be forgiven
Hey - I just can’t face shakin’ in this bedroom
One more night alone

I need a lover that won’t drive me crazy
I need a lover that won’t drive me crazy
I need a lover that won’t drive me crazy
Some girl that knows the meaning of ah-
Hey hit the highway!

I need a lover that won’t drive me crazy
Some girl to thrill me and then go away
I need a lover that won’t drive me crazy
Some girl that knows the meaning of ah-
Hey hit the highway!

You betcha’

Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind

2005-10-16T15:17:00.000-01:00

Spotless... Whehehehehhee, I had to laugh. Okay, so lately it's been a bit fucked up. And yeah Lieze, I know: Doc and stuff. But he has pointy little things. Iew, iew iew iew, frightnening. But I'll do it.
Sunshine. Whehehehee.. *looks surprised*

What a fucking bad blog.

Fuck off.

Gawd gawd gawd gawd

2005-10-15T19:33:00.000-01:00

Okay, geen oploskoffie meer eten. Ik weet het; stomme zet. Maar ik doe meer stomme dingen. Ik sta op dit moment vol van energie. Heb alweer een bloedneus gehad en meteen hoofdpijn erbij. Dat zal morgen nog wel erger zijn als mijn koffiebuzz afgelopen is. Ik heb besloten om nooit meer koffie te eten, drinken of er ook nog maar aan te ruiken. Koffie is bah. Koffie is een uitvinding van de duivel en moet verbannen worden. En nu ook nog een oog die niet stopt met tranen. Bah bah bah.

Koffie is slecht! Koffie moet een nekschot krijgen...

Gawd ik ben slapen. I feel like shit.

Boem boem Nederland

2005-10-13T19:57:00.000-01:00

Den Haag Binnenhof is op dit moment hermetisch afgesloten. Er is een aardige kans op vuurwerk was het bericht. Aangezien het nog geen 00:00 is en ook geen 31/12 op 1/1 zullen we nog eventjes moeten wachten hierop. Je zult vanzelf zien dat het weer eerst code oranje wordt, waarna die langzaamaan veranderd in een code groen. Die zelfingenomen aandachtsgeile kuthoeren daar in Den Haag zien in de eerste de beste verkeerd geknoopte schoenveter al een redelijke bedreiging. ME en alle vrije agenten worden zo opgeroepen om deze schavuit van zijn veters te ontdoen.

Ik draai altijd even met mijn ogen als ik zulke berichten hoor. Het gaat het ene oor in en het andere oor uit. Waarom zouden terroristen zoals wij ze kennen juist een aanval plannen als heel de politie uit de kast getrokken wordt? Dan blaas je toch alles af en wacht je gewoon tot het ultieme moment is aangebroken? Waarom zou je juist wanneer heel het politieapparaat op de been is je nek uitsteken. Letterlijk en figuurlijk.

Wat kost deze ‘redelijke’ bedreiging de belastingbetaler nu? Teveel. Punt. Heel leuk en aardig, en ik zal zeker mijn woorden in moeten slikken wanneer er wel wat gebeurt en alle agenten van Nederland liggen lekker in bed te maffen, maar kom op. Dit is niet leuk meer. Niemand maakt zich hier nog druk om behalve die zogenaamde ‘baccalaureus’ die met hoge poten meteen heel Nederland op zijn kop probeert te zetten. Well go fuck yourself you ignorant little backbencher. Je bent helemaal niet zo prominent als je naam doet vermoeden. Dankzij jullie wordt heel Nederland een proseliet. Ik ga meteen beginnen met mijn quadrageen. Dit kabinet is werkelijk één groot fiasco. Ga weg met je torentjesoverleg, ga weg met je briljante ideeën, ga weg hier. Verhuis naar België en verneuk de boel daar. Jullie met jullie geniale zorgstelsel, politieapparaat, C2000, communicatieve eigenschappen van lik m’n vestje. En als jullie het niet doen, dan ga ik er wel heen. België du bist mein Heimatsland.

Masjallah

Newsflash

2005-10-12T08:25:00.000-01:00

I'll sing along with every emergency. I am the queen of cathastrophy. I could give you lessons in how to ruin your friendships. I could an expert on co-dependency. I could write the best book on underaged tragedy. I can put you down just with words. I'm rude, senseless and I definitely don't care about your feeling or your state of mind.

But every now and then I will listen, I will tell you sweet words about how it will all be okay and I will look at you in a different perspective. Showing emotions isn't a wrong thing to do. It's just fucking stupid. So okay, I listened to all your problems for a few hours. But that doesn't fucking mean that I'm going to listen to you the next time, you stupid internet whore. Here's 50 cent, go buy yourself a fucking life. What? Store's closed? You stupid fuck!

Now, this doesn't go out to everyone. I'll even make time for my friends, my buddies and my ScreamTeamFriends (or for short: STF). But you, you unfamiliar internetjunk, I don't know you, I don't want to know you and I just want you to leave me alone. So. This one goes out to the world. Go fuck yourself. Newsflash: you're not important, you will never become 'someone', you will always be this big pile of crap just waiting to be washed away by the incoming storm.

How many times can you say 'fuck' before it becomes a pain in the ass?

Deep down I think it's fine by me cause I'm my own worst enemy.

Fuck me!

2005-10-10T10:44:00.000-01:00

Yeah finaly got my control back! It was a long and bumpy ride getting there. But it was worth all the while. Sure I've made a huge mistake and sure I'll never forget anything of it. But it's for the best and I'm sure we'll survive!

I missed my moments. I missed talking about nothing and noting at all. Just giggling and doing nothing except for having the time of my life! I even cooked! And fuck me! I fucking did it. Chicken Siam. Don't ask me how, but in some weird way I finaly managed to make something eatable of it. I'm so proud of myself *yeej* In some weird way I do feel a bit, well I don't know, you can't call it down.. Just.. It's this weird 'How would it have been' feeling. But I think that's understandable.
Yeah babe, we just threw away something really precious for another more valuable thing. Namely friendship. God, I finaly slept for 6 hours straight. It must have been weeks since I got that many sleep in one night.

I'm so fucking happy, and it's weird. I shouldn't be happy in some weird way. Why do people often feel depressed when something bad happens in their life? Okay so life sucks sometimes, and sure it isn't always fun. But how come people tend to let it get to them this much? Well, I'm just going on with my life as it was before. That time rocked. I want that back. But I don't have any regrets. That would be fucking sad.

So, welcome to the rest of my life. Hope you'll follow it 'till the end.

Before I take my shower and continue on to my work I just want to tell you this:
I'm sorry that I couldn't be
as perfect as you wanted me
Just wondering what's going on in your mind
I sure hope you're fine
I hope your conscience is clear
Hope you're happy

14.gif to my something more.

Amerika!

2005-10-07T18:14:00.000-01:00

Amerika! Ik ga naar Amerika! Amerika!
Mensen met tips betrekkende Las Vegas, Arizona en California mogen hun tips achterlaten!
Amerika! Ik ga naar Amerika!

*Loramet klaarzet*

Oh en natuurlijk niet vergeten

2005-10-06T11:17:00.000-01:00

Dit wordt geen lied van “toen ik jou”
want ik kende je allang.
Het wordt ook geen “nu blijf ik maar hopen”
Want het wordt niets ben ik bang

Het is ook geen “dus blijf ik maar zingen”
Hoogstens een “wat ik niet vertel”
Het is een “veel te laat”, een “nooit goed zeggen kon”
Maar dat vertel ik je nog wel..

Ik zal je jaren ver van hier
Misschien vertellen hoe het was
Misschien zal ik dan zeggen
Misschien nog veel later pas

Maar ik zal je jaren ver van hier
Misschien vertellen hoe verliefd ik op je was

Dit wordt geen “onderaan je raam”
Hoogstens een “waar je dan ook bent”
En dat ik hoor hoe jij een ander zegt:
“Die daar heb ik ooit gekend”

Ik zal je jaren ver van hier
Misschien vertellen hoe het was
Misschien zal ik dan zeggen
Misschien nog veel later pas

Maar ik zal je jaren ver van hier
Misschien vertellen hoe verliefd ik op je was

Dit is geen “ieder een andere kant op”
We mochten nooit hetzelfde pad
En geen “ineens liet ik jouw hand los”
Ik heb jouw hand nooit vast gehad

Ik zal je jaren ver van hier
Misschien vertellen hoe het was

Hoe voel je je nu deel 37583

2005-10-06T09:45:00.000-01:00

There's something about this day
That feels a lot like yesterday
Everything looks the same:
The wall, the tv set
The way I move around myself to be
Somewhere over there
Where things just seem to grow
Where somebody seems to know
What they want from me
I never felt like I belonged
To anything or anyone
Still I depend on you
For every single thing
I could be wrong about so much, but
Somewhere over there
Where things just seem to grow
Where somebody seems to know
What they want from me
I'm too young to know I'm young
I'm too selfish to be strong
Am I too old
To allow my adolescence to go on
There's something about this day
That's not at all like yesterday
I could be
Somewhere over there
Where things just seem to grow
Where somebody seems to know
What they want from me

My wake up call

2005-10-04T20:57:00.000-01:00

Ik laat mijn broertje zojuist mijn laatste blog lezen, waarna hij mij stom aankijkt. Blijkbaar heeft mijn humor zo'n tergend laag niveau bereikt dat ik er beter mee kan ophouden.

Maar dat is niet het enige waar ik mee ga ophouden. Ik stop met het achterna lopen van bepaalde dingen. Ik vind dat het tijd wordt dat dingen maar naar mij komen. Duidelijkheid wordt mijn credo, en kun je dat niet opbrengen houdt het gewoon op.
Ik draai zelf vaak genoeg om bepaalde dingen heen, maar ik ben het nu een beetje zat. Twee van mijn nagels zijn al weggebeten. Helaas, het vleesch was zwack. Zenuwen zijn bij mij niet in te houden. Godzijdank heb ik nog wat stressballetjes. Ach, genoeg reden om zenuwachtig te zijn denk ik zomaar. De laatste maand is sowieso een maand vol rondjes-rond-de-tafel-lopen en wat wazig voor me uit staren geweest.

Ik ben slapen.

Mommy mommy!

2005-10-04T20:44:00.000-01:00

Mommy, Mommy! What's an orgasm? 'I don't know dear, ask your father.'

Mommy, Mommy! What's a nymphomaniac? 'Shut up and help me get Gramma off the doorknob!'

Mommy, Mommy! Why are we pushing the car off the cliff? 'Shut up son, you'll wake your father.'

Mommy, Mommy! The milk man's here; Have you got the money or should I go out and play?

Mommy, Mommy! Why's everybody running? 'Shut up and reload.'

Mommy, Mommy! Daddy's running down the street! 'Shut up and step on the gas!'

'Come upstairs, son, like a good boy.' No, Mommy, you'll only throw me down again.

Mommy, Mommy! My head hurts! 'Shut up and get away from the dart board!'

Mommy, Mommy! Where did your scabs go? 'Shut up and eat your corn flakes!'

Mommy, Mommy! It's dark down here! 'Shut up or I'll flush it again!'

Mommy, Mommy! I'm getting dizzy. 'Shut up or I'll nail your other foot down!'

Mommy, Mommy, can I lick the bowl? 'Shut up and flush the toilet!'

Mommy, Mommy! I hate Daddy's guts. 'Shut up kid and keep eating.'

Mommy, Mommy! Can I play with Grandma? 'Shut up kid, you dug her up twice last week!'

Mommy, Mommy! Why am I so ugly? 'Shut up kid and comb your face.'

Mommy, Mommy! What's for dinner? 'Shut up and get back in the oven!'

Mommy, Mommy!! What's a lesbian? 'Go ask your father, she'll know.'

Mommy, Mommy! Can I wear a bra now? I'm 16.. 'Shut up, Tommy....'

Mommy, Mommy, I hate tomato soup! 'shut up son, we only have it once a month!'

Mommy, Mommy! Sarah won't come skipping with me. 'Don't be cruel dear, you know it makes her stumps bleed.'

Mommy, Mommy! I don't want to see Niagara falls! 'Shut up and get back in the barrel!'

Mommy, Mommy! I want to play with Timmy! 'Shut up and close the coffin!'

Mommy, Mommy! Daddy puked! 'Shut up and get a fork, before your sister gets all the big chunks!'

Mommy, Mommy! I don't like tomato soup! 'Shut up, we only have it once a month.'

Mommy, Mommy! I don't wanna visit grandma! 'Shut up and keep digging.'

Tijden veranderen

2005-10-02T16:44:00.000-01:00

Wellicht hebben we hier te maken met een cultureel fenomeen waarin zeiken en zeuren de nieuwe vorm van liefkozen is in de 21ste eeuw. Dat had ik eerder moeten weten, want het hevig schelden van een vrouwtje gisterochtend deed me al vermoeden, dat ik hier te maken had met iemand die op moderne wijze mij het bed probeerde in te krijgen.

Mensen zijn terecht gekomen in een wervelstroom van verscheidenheid en eentonigheid. Een scala van gezeik betreffende de dagelijkse problematische situaties waar de mens zich op de een of andere manier toch weer steeds in aantreft.

Ikzelf merk dagelijks dat mijn cynische houding geen grenzen kent. Hierdoor komen de irritaties bij de mensen in mijn omgeving met een snelheid van mach 3 omhoog gerezen. Ikzelf irriteer mij ook steeds vaker aan het narcistische gedrag dat veel mensen tonen. Tijden veranderen, mensen nemen de tijd niet meer om elkaar te leren kennen. Daardoor slijten de verscheidene lagen die onze samenleving kent niet, en blijven de grote verschillen tussen mensen bestaan.

Laten wij hieraan werken. Laten wij onze handen ineen slaan en proberen weer een lach op ons gezicht te vertonen. Laten wij proberen niet meer sarcastisch en cynisch te zijn, maar juist behulpzaam en vredelievend. Laten wij de wereld verbeteren. Een beter universum begint bij jezelf.

Ofwel; het blijft lekker ieder voor zich. Fuck de wereld.
Ik ben werken.

Nut-te-loos

2005-10-01T14:18:00.000-01:00

K3 op televisie, al 2 stressballen kapot geknepen omdat ik gek word van het niet nagelbijten, geen honger en toch weer wel, en een beetje stressig van een berichtje dat ik las.

Lekker.

Not.

Uit één van die stressballen kwam een hoop wit poeder. Natuurlijk denkt een degelijk denkend mens dan meteen aan cocaine. Nadat ik een flinke snuif naar binnen gewerkt had kwam ik erachter dat het zand was.

Lekker.

Not.

Vanavond moet ik om 10 uur werken in Puttershoek. En niet eens in mijn eigen kotje boven aan de dijk waar ik lekker de hele avond door film kan kijken. Nee, lekker beneden waar ik Poolse en Duitse chauffeurs te woord kan gaan staan. En ik verzeker je; die mensen stinken.

Lekker.

Not.

Internet is nog steeds onstabiel. Ik heb ondertussen de DNS veranderd naar eigen nummers in de hoop dat deze al de sites omzet in IP-adressen. Het is godzijdank al wat sneller, maar voor hoe lang het goed blijft gaan is maar de vraag.

Lekker.

Maar nog niet subliem.

Nu ga ik eerst genieten van mijn boerenkool die in de magnetron op te warmen staat. Genieten staat gelijk aan een beetje met mijn vork erin roeren en het na een minuut of 10 weggooien. Maar hey, je kunt niet alles hebben.

God wat ben ik in een 'My December' mood. Maar hey, alles gaat fout maar het is goed, zolang ik het beleef. Toch? Nee toch niet, daar ben ik al 3 weken geleden van afgestapt.

Everybody hurts

2005-09-30T13:49:00.000-01:00

Hey, keep your chin up. Okay, so sometimes things suck. Seriously, sometimes it does. Things just don't seem to connect. But there's always something to look out for. Something good.

I'm sorry that I can not be, as perfect as you want me to be. I sure hope you're fine, I hope your consciense is clear. I hope you're happy.
I can tell about the times we know. I can read to you the letters I wrote, or speak to you the words you said you never heard. I can do a lot of things to make it go away. But I'm not.

Don't walk ahead of me, because I may not follow, don't walk behind me, because I may not lead. Just walk next to me and be my friend. I'll do the same.

I want you to be happier than me. I'm a poor example of a carefree humanbeing. There's a list of things I wish to be; Your pillow and your blanket and your lifetimeguarantee.

Well this is a bunch of sentimental crap. But it's so true.

It looks like I'm making a comeback

2005-09-28T17:01:00.000-01:00

Everything's changing, it's out of control. It's just all going so fast. Maybe even too fast. Am I making the right choices? Or am I making mistakes? Well I don't mind. You'll never hear me complain. I'm having the time of my life making the choices I'm making right now, and I'll know that from this point on my life will never be the same.

But if you ask how are you, I'll say I'm allright.

It was just a second, but it made me feel so whole again.
It's sticking to my soul. It made me feel so, I don't know, so light.
It made me feel so me again.

The one to whom this goes out already knows what I mean. You're my best buddy. I don't know what to do without you. So we have our arguements sometimes. I wouldn't want to miss it in the world.

My life is like a fictional army of waves. Grabbing me by the throat as I was just retrieving, only to let me go again as I'm far away from the shore. I'll just relax and let the waves carry me towards my goal, back towards the shore. I'll just see what's going to happen. I'm pretty sure I'll survive the strong flow just beneath me. Yeah sure, getting in too deep can be pretty scary sometimes, but isn't it fun? It's like a constant high chase persuit, and I'm the one behind the wheel of the one being chased. I'll just close my eyes and continue dreaming.

She's not my girl, she's something more.

Dingen die mijn moeder me geleerd heeft

2005-09-23T16:06:00.000-01:00

Mijn moeder heeft mij genoeg goede dingen geleerd. Ik ga nu even een paar voorbeelden neerplempen waarvan toekomstige moeders nog van kunnen leren.

Mijn moeder heeft me geleerd dat je altijd moet genieten als je je werk goed volbracht hebt: 'Als jullie elkaar toch afmaken doe dat dan buiten, ik heb net schoongemaakt'.

Mijn moeder heeft me geleerd wat religie is: 'Ga alvast maar bidden dat ik die vlek uit het tapijt krijg'.

Mijn moeder heeft me geleerd over tijdreizen: 'Kijk uit of ik sla je rechtstreeks naar volgende week woensdag'.

Mijn moeder heeft me geleerd wat logisch redeneren is: 'Omdat ik het zeg, daarom'.

Mijn moeder heeft me geleerd wat ironie is: 'Ga door met huilen en ik geef je iets om echt om te huilen'.

Mijn moeder heeft me geleerd wat uithoudingsvermogen is: 'Je blijft zitten tot je spinazie op is'.

Mijn moeder heeft me geleerd wat wat het weer inhoudt: 'Je kamer ziet eruit alsof er een tornado doorheen is geraasd'.

Mijn moeder heeft me geleerd wat hypocriet zijn is: 'Ik heb je je al drie miljoen keer vertelt; je moet niet zo overdrijven!'.

Mijn moeder heeft me geleerd wat de cirkel der leven is: 'Ik heb je op deze wereld gezet en ik kan je er ook zo afhalen'.

Mijn moeder heeft me geleerd wat genetische karakteristieke bepalingen zijn: 'Je gedraagt je als je vader'.

Mijn moeder heeft me geleerd wat jaloezie inhoudt: 'Gedraag je niet zo verwend, er zijn genoeg kinderen die bidden om zulke geweldige ouders als die van jou'.

Mijn moeder heeft me geleerd wat gerechtigheid is: 'Ooit heb jij ook kinderen, en dan hoop ik dat ze net zo als jij zullen zijn'.

Mijn moeder heeft me geleerd wat humor is: 'Als je je tenen eraf haalt tijdens het grasmaaien moet je niet naar mij komen rennen'.

Mijn moeder heeft me geleerd wat de medische wereld is: 'Als je zo blijft kijken zullen om 12 uur je ogen zo blijven staan'.

Mijn moeder heeft me geleerd wat verwachten is: 'Wacht jij maar tot we thuis zijn, dan zul je er van lusten'.

Kortom: mijn moeder is een geniaal mokkel en ik houd heel veel van haar. Zij is degene die mij al deze wijsheden heeft bijgebracht. Ik ben kei trots op die oude alcoholist O+

I feel like flying

2005-09-22T17:08:00.000-01:00

Seriously, I do. I just bought the Woodface CD and it fucking rocks! 'White light to you', 'Something to break', 'River to the moon' 'Are you ready to sing?' and 'It's all there' are fucking fabulous!
I'm not saying it's better than Sarah, because a lot of songs are boring and not getting to me at all (so do some of Sarah's tough), but it's different! It's so not K's, and so not Sarah. It's Gert!

Things like:
'What if this is all you're getting
What if this is all there is
You behold your perfect setting
And the mirror that you kiss'

That's just fucking briliant! Genius! But really, what if this is all there is? I'm 19, I have a nice job, great friends and something more, my lovely dogs. But what if this is all there is? I've done it all. I've made mistakes, I've apologized in most of the cases. Don't ask me why, but I'd be dissapointed if this would be it. I've so much to explore.

So this is why I'm taking a chance,
I'm getting back on track,
This won't be all there is,
I'm taking my control back.

So Antwerp, here I come.

Sometimes a few words are enough

2005-09-21T13:45:00.000-01:00

it would be nice if we could all just sleep together
it would be great if we could have a cup of everyting
what'd you do with everyting

it would be lovely, to see all your faces smiling
it would be wonderful if all this shit i sing about
was happening, was happening, was happening.

and it turns out to be with a happy family
but all these families break, everybody's on the take
all that matters today, the kind of money that you make
the money that you make

yeah all these families break, everybody's on the take
all that matters today, the kind of money that you make
the money that you make

it would be nice if we could all just live together
that's a hand-in-hand situation
it would be great if we could feel a bit of sympathy
simpathy for you and me

it would be lovely if we all stood up together,
it's gotta be like the commercial on tv
it would be wonderful if all this shit i sing about
was happening, happening, happening

well it turns out to be with a happy family
but all the families break, everybody's on the take
all that matters today, the kind of money that you make
the money that you make

yeah all these families break, and everybody's on the take
all that matters today, the kind of money that you make
the money that you make

it would be nice if we could all just sit together
it would be great if we could have a little fun
it would be nice if we could be a happy family today

*Silence*

It's fucking unbelievable

2005-09-21T09:25:00.000-01:00

Sick. Can you believe it? It's not fucking possible. I'm lyin on the couch with the blankets above me. I'm feeling horrible. I'm planning to go to work tomorrow tough. I went today too, but they send me home because I looked like shit and had to puke all the fucking time. I'm bored as hell, haven't eaten yet. Didn't even drink yet. Being sick sucks. I was planning to argue with all the people at work again. But nooooo, I had to be sick. Apparently I'm not the only one. 2 other colleagues are lying in bed, sick as hell.

I'm even to fucking lazy to get my guitar or something like that. I just want to lie here and do nothing. I love this couch. The only thing I miss at the moment is my Woodface CD. I went to the music store yesterday but it wasn't in yet. Fucking bastards, gimme my CD!

Am I about to crack? I'm going mental here. I'm so bored. Well for what it's worth; I really enjoyed the ride getting here. The fucking painful headaches I had the last couple of days should have been a nice warningsign. Wonderful. Oh my god, my stomach. Just kill me okay. Or give me a lot of morphine.

I'm going to find something to eat. Altough it will be exiting my mouth within 5 seconds.

It would be nice

2005-09-20T12:43:00.000-01:00

Well Lieze, fuck you. I'm back in English. I loved my Dutch posts, but it's so much nicer in English. So fuck you B-) (No I'm kidding, I love you)

Things that would be nice will be my next topic. There are so many things in life that are worth the wait, so I can't choose. It's a fucking bad topic anyway. I'll just tell you about my last couple of days.
The last couple of days I've been biting my nails like hell. I'm a nervous wreck. But why? Why can't I just let my nails grow for a week? Starting *now* I will not even look at my nails anymore. I want beautiful long nails.

.........

Oh God I miss my nails already. I want to nibble. Omg omg omg. What have I done? No! I will keep my promis and I will not bite my nails.

Well, off to bed. I still have to work for 5 days. I've been working for 2,5 days now. After these 7,5 days it will only get less. 2 days off and 5 days to work, then 2 days off and 2 days to work. Finaly I will be able to get some decent rest.

Well, I'm off.. Buhbye.

Little update

2005-09-13T12:23:00.000-01:00

Eindelijk vrij. Eindelijk verlost van de ketenen die wij het leven noemen. Eindelijk heb ik mijn ketens afgegooid en heb gegild: 'Ik ben vrij!'. Met andere woorden: Ik heb een dag vrij.
Eindelijk, na 8 dagen werken heb ik een vrije dag. Het valt niet mee opeens te moeten wennen aan het feit dat ik de hele dag niets te doen heb en mijn vrije tijd zelf moet inplannen. Ik begin natuurlijk met een geniaal ontbijt gevolgt door een fles cava. Vers geimporteerd door mijn ouders. Eindelijk zijn die twee wandelende takken terug in Nederland. Ik vraag me ten stelligste af of ik ze nog zal herkennen.

Vanmiddag om 4 uur heb ik in ieder geval een date met de tandarts. Na 19 jaar is het tijd dat ze eens hun geld waar gaan maken. Ik betaal geen torenhoge premies om er vervolgens niets mee te doen. Hoppa, boor erin en een volledige verdoving graag. Daarna nog een pakketje watjes mee waarop ik thuis kan gaan kauwen. Bloed willen we, en opengekrabte tandartsen. We willen tegenspartelen zien. Angst in de ogen als de boor centimeter voor centimeter dichterbij komt. Dat willen we. En dan nog het liefste bij een van mijn broers. Ik moet er niet aan denken, yugh.

Well anyway, ik ga nog eventjes wat fotofucken, nog wat gitaar spelen en dan nog wat bankhangen. Ik zou niet weten wat ik anders met mijn leven zou moeten doen.

Beloofd is Beloofd, helaas

2005-09-08T07:30:00.000-01:00

De titel heb ik een half uur geleden al geschreven. Ik zit gewoon maar wat naar mijn scherm te staren en mezelf af te vragen hoe ik me subtiel kan verwoorden.
Ik ben ondertussen al op jacht geweest naar een ontbijtje, maar helaas, wederom niets in huis. Na mijn culinaire catastrophe van gisteravond had dat wel fijn geweest, maar soit.
We zijn ondertussen al anderhalf uur verder en dit is alles wat ik heb. Ik moet zo zelfs gaan werken.

Lieze het spijt me, ik weet het niet te verwoorden. Begin jij maar.

Kort maar krachtig

2005-09-05T22:10:00.000-01:00

Lieze,

Will you go out with me?

:!

Hoe voel je je nu deel 29483

2005-09-05T08:09:00.000-01:00

We could watch this from the side
We could comment on the world as it floats by
Applaud the things we know
Condemn the soul that wants to grow
Oh, I just want to go with what was already inside

And I think I know
Something about you
You need someone just like me
Someone just like me to be with you

Look at what you have to give
You owe it to the ones who never get to live the life
I see for you and me
Love is all we really need
And you make it fun to be this consciously naive

And I think I know
Something about you
You need someone just like me
Someone just like me to be with you

Don’t think I’m not afraid
Nothing scares me more than losing you
This is the song where I can
Finally totally give myself to you

And I think I know
Something about you
You need someone just like me
Someone just like me to be with you

I think I know
Something about you
You need someone just like me
Someone just like me to be with you

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Zo dus. Soms heb je weleens van die dingen het het leven, waarin alles op zijn plek valt. Op een gegeven ogenblik ga je dingen bevatten en vallen alle puzzelstukjes op hun plek. Nice, isn't it? Well, sometimes it is. Het is altijd mooi wanneer het leven toch meer duidelijker wordt dan dat het al was.
Op dit moment wordt een hoop duidelijk. Bijvoorbeeld hoe je misbruikt kan worden op je werk. Acht dagen achter elkaar werken, ondanks dat je voor een bepaalde dag vrij gevraagd hebt. Nou soit, laat maar zitten, ik ga alsnog wel werken, maar ze moeten niet van me verwachten dat ik het zonnetje in huis zal zijn. Ik vind het alleen vervelend dat ik nu mijn maatje alleen moet laten. Natuurlijk weet ik ook wel dat dat luie ding uitslaapt tot een uur of 12. En daar maak ik me ook helemaal geen zorgen over, maar het is toch vervelend. Ik ben rond half 3 weer thuis, nou, lekkere dag heb je dan samen. Bij voorbaat bied ik nu al mijn excuses aan Lieze aan, vanwege het feit dat ik er om kwart voor 5 's ochtends uit ga om te gaan werken. Maar ik ga het denk ik anders doen. Ik ga gewoon niet naar bed. Eer we terug zijn zal het een uurtje of 3 zijn. Mevrouw blijft maar lekker met mij wakker tot kwart over 5 en mag dan pas gaan slapen. Ik haal gewoon een hoop red bull voor de dag zelf en kijk of ik wat achterover kan leunen in mijn bureaustoel op mijn werk de dag erna. Het is dan toch zondag. Ik denk niet dat het hier vol zal staan met mensen. God, de kans dat al één persoon mij komt verblijden met zijn of haar geweldige karakter is al vrijwel uit te sluiten.

Natuurlijk is dit niet het enige waarbij er bij ondergetekende een lichtje gaat branden. Wat denk je van vriendschap? Ook daar gaan soms lichtjes branden. Je ontmoet nieuwe mensen, oude mensen vergeet je en die vergeten jou ook. Maar heel soms zullen er mensen blijven plakken. Mensen waarvan je zeker weet dat ze je nooit zullen laten vallen en waarvan je ook zeker weet dat je ze op elk mogelijk tijdstip kan bellen als er wat is. Die mensen zijn voor mij de belangrijkste in mijn leven. Ik ben elke dag dankbaar dat ik zulke vrienden heb. Ik weet ook zeker dat er genoeg mensen zijn die zoiets moeten missen in hun leven. Godzijdank ben ik zo iemand niet. Ik heb de beste vrienden die iemand zich maar kan voorstellen, en ik moet er niet aan denken om op dit moment iemand kwijt te moeten raken.

Het is nu half zes. Bijna op de helft van mijn werkdag. Morgen heb ik gelukkig vrij. Nouja, we zien allemaal wel wat er gaat gebeuren de komende weken. Laten we zeggen dat naast 'alle mannen zijn dood en moeten klootzakken' tegenwoordig 'Time will tell' ook mijn motto is. En niet zeuren dat je het niet begrijpt, ik weet in ieder geval één iemand die dit zou moeten begrijpen.

Half tien, na een heel seizoen aan 'Ab Fab' gekeken te hebben is mijn geniale werkdag bijna ten einde. Ik spring straks in mijn auto en rijd zo mijn huisje tegemoet. God, zou het niet te gek zijn om je nooit druk te hoeven maken om geld, en de 40 jarige junk te kunnen spelen? Lekker elke dag uitslapen, geen flikker uitvoeren. Gewoon lekker de hele dag aan de champagne. Ja, ik zou dat wel kunnen.

Tien over half tien. Ik zag zojuist dat de dienst die na mij komt open stond. Laten we nu op onze blote knietjes gaan hopen dat er ook echt iemand opdaagd. Dat zou toch wel tof zijn. Ik blijf hier niet voor Jan Lul tot 6 uur 's ochtends zitten. Zul je net zien dat die idiote planning bij NBO niemand geregeld heeft. Zo werkt het helaas vaker. Op mijn camera die aan de overkant hangt bij specialiteiten zie ik al mensen afgelost worden. Wat een utopie! Ah, daar is mijn aflossing. Een newbie zo te zien. Ik ga hangen.

Zo, wederom een grammaticaal hoogtepuntje van mij. Ik wens jullie veel leesplezier. Ik ga nu nog eventjes 'werken'. Sentimentele crap is tegenwoordig mijn credo. Fucking hell zeg, bah.

Zo hey!

2005-09-04T17:09:00.000-01:00

Wat een mooie titel voor een mooi verwoorde blog. Ik ga jullie alvast waarschuwen voor deze geweldige explosie van taalmisbruik. Deze taalpurist pur sang gaat jullie een leuk verhaaltje vertellen.

Mannen zijn dom. Ja, jullie hebben me wel gehoord; 'Mannen zijn dom'. Zodra je een keertje lief lacht en een knipoog geeft worden bergen voor je verzet. Bier wordt gehaald, films worden betaald. Heerlijk om deze nietige schepsels bezig te zien om elke wens te vervullen. Waarom zou een weldenkend mens (goh waar hebben we deze eerder gehoord?) opeens elke wens willen inwilligen van een wezen dat niet te vertrouwen is? Ja dames, u hoorde dat correct; 'Vrouwen zijn niet te vertrouwen'. Vrouwen zijn rare wezens. Ze geven dubbele hints af, zeggen niet wat ze willen en laten je maanden rondjes draaien voordat je confirmatie krijgt over wat er nu eindelijk aan de hand is. Is het niet geweldig om een vrouw te zijn? Is het niet heerlijk om zoveel macht te hebben puur gebaseerd op iets wat mannen nodig hebben?

Natuurlijk zijn er altijd uitzonderingen. Vrouwen die niet rondlopen met het idee dat ze superieur zijn aan alles en iedereen. Vrouwen die wel gevoelens tonen en aardig zijn tegen alles dat ze tegenkomen. Ik vraag me af onder welke groep ik val. Ben ik het speelse meisje die je stiekem achter je rug uitlacht? Of ben ik het lieve meisje, die alleen goede dingen met je voor heeft. Ben ik degene die een mes in je rug plant, hem 4 keer ronddraaid, je op de grond gooit en nog eens op het mes gaat staan springen? Of ben ik het meisje die 112 belt? Ben ik het meisje die als ze iemand ziet die twijfelt of hij nu wel of niet voor de aanstormende TGV zal springen diegene een zetje geeft? Of ben ik toch het meisje die vraagt of diegene misschien een kop koffie mee gaat drinken?

Ik zal eerlijk zijn. Ik ben een gedeelte van beiden. Als ik afgelopen maandag wegens een of andere klootzak kweetnie hoelang voor de van Brienenoordbrug moet staan omdat meneer toch niet durft te springen had ik hem met liefde een zetje gegeven. Tegelijkertijd heb ik medelijden met diegene. Lastig. Heel leuk een aardig hoor, dit kleine dingetje dat wij het leven noemen, maar zorg niet dat ik last van oponthoud krijg dankzij jou. Ik doe dat ook niet bij jou.

Fuck off.

Fundamentalistische vlamingen

2005-08-31T12:18:00.000-01:00

Heden ten dagen is spam niet meer uit ons leven te denken. Elke dag krijg ik een stuk of vijf mailtjes waarin uitgelegd wordt hoe een penisvergroting precies werkt en wat ik ervoor moet betalen. Maar nu, mijn beste vrinden, is het echt te ver gegaan! Deze keer zal ik hier over gaan zeuren, klagen en zeveren. Ik check mijn mailbox en daar lag het hoor; Een cursus Vlaams!
Deze fundamentalist probeert mij heilig te overtuigen van het geniale goed dat zij West-Vlaanderen noemt. Het lef!
Ik zal wat voorbeelden geven van hetgene zij een taal durven te benoemen:
Een ertefretter, ookwel bekend als een zeurkous, een flutse staat bekend als een misser en een lattestwoor is een rolluik.

Waarom zou een weldenkend mens Vlaams gaan praten in het dagelijks leven? Waarom zou een weldenkend mens met een IQ boven de 80 sowieso in België gaan wonen? Het is een derdewereld land in het hartje van Europa. De wegen zijn te vergelijken met een zandpad in in *insert desbetreffend land naar keuze waar het BNP 10 euro per maand is* en qua huizen kun je nog beter in een leemhutje in de rimboe van Wakkawakka-eiland wonen.
'Ja, maar België is wel goedkoop. Kijk maar naar de benzineprijzen en de huizenprijzen.' Ja leuk voor je, jij slecht excuus voor een Bijna-Nederlander, maar daar is het land ook wel naar.

Doch moet ik toegeven. Ik vind de mensen leuker dan degene die we in Nederland hebben. Dat is het enige dat mij nog hoop geeft dat het ooit nog goed gaat komen met dit landje in the middle of nowhere.

De cursus gaan we afmaken. Over een week of 2 spreek ik beter Vlaams dan de meeste Vlamingen op dit moment. Hoe je het uit je strot krijgt is mij een raadsel.

Idealisme

2005-08-29T18:16:00.000-01:00

Een groot probleem overwinnen is als een stofzuigercoureur die op een Nilfisk zit; het gaat om de grootte. In dit geval over de grootte van het probleem. Idealisme is op vele manieren een manier van leven. Men idealiseerd bepaalde dingen; romances, vrienden, werk. Aangezien het leven lang niet zo kleurig is als veel mensen het zien, kan idealisme problemen veroorzaken.

Een willekeurige vrouw: 'Hij is zo leuk, volgens mij is hij de ware'. Niets kan minder waar zijn. Het mannelijk geslacht is een broeiput van problemen. De eerste twee weken zijn leuk, daarna kookt meneer minder, meneer stofzuigt niet meer, meneer is niet meer zo romantisch als de eerste keer. Aangezien deze puist op pootjes in de eerste week geidealiseerd en geromantificeerd is, loop je altijd tegen een muur aan.

Idealisme is dus een slecht iets. Zodra je iets idealiseerd verwacht je er het uiterste van. Dit terwijl je feitelijk altijd op je plaat valt. Er zal altijd iets zijn wat tegenvalt in zo'n geval. Je ziet echt de ultieme broek. De broek van je dromen. Je idealiseerd jezelf al in die broek terwijl je een cafe bezoekt of naar de bioscoop gaat. Wat kan er aan tegenvallen? De prijs, de broek is na een maand al kapot, de distributeur van die broek gebruikt kleine jongetjes en meisjes van 7 jaar om die broek te maken. Ga zo maar door. Er zijn talloze voorbeelden waarom idealiseren niet de stap is naar een beter leven.

Ik stel voor dat we allemaal onze verwachtingen van bepaalde dingen wat lager leggen. Dan kan het alleen maar meevallen. Als voorbeeld stel ik mijn internet ter beschikking. Die qleautzaquen van @home hebben in de tijd dat ik bij hen als klant verwachtingen stel misschien één keer aan die verwachtingen voldaan. Het ironische aan dit verhaaltje, is dat op het moment dat ik dit over @home typ, mijn internet uitvalt. Natuurlijk had ik niets anders verwacht en daarom maak ik mij ook absoluut niet druk over dit terugkerende fenomeen dat 'klantvriendelijkheid' heet. Ik wacht het maar weer eens lekker af, en ga eens nadenken over dingen die ik wel zou kunnen idealiseren. Zodra ik een voorbeeld gevonden heb hoor je het van me.

Als afsluiter wil ik iedereen bedanken voor de te hoge verwachtingen, de prestatiedrang en de druk om alles maar fantastisch te willen doen.
Ikzelf heb hier ook last van. Kijk alleen maar eens naar deze blog. Misschien romantificeer ik dingen ook wel teveel. De spelfouten haal ik er morgen na mijn werk wel uit.

Potverdriedubbeltjes nog aan toe

2005-08-28T08:47:00.000-01:00

Vannacht zat ik natuurlijk mijn kont eraf te werken op mijn werk in Puttershoek. 'Niets mis mee', zal een ongetraind oog zeggen. Jawel, mijn beste vriendjes en vriendinnetjes, daar is alles mis mee. Vanavond was een der engste avonden van mijn jeugdige leven! Ik zal natuurlijk bij het begin beginnen waarna ik eindig in onsamenhangende zinnen welke jullie niet begrijpen. Jullie zullen knikken en medelijden hebben.

Het begon allemaal vannacht. Ik had de nachtdienst van 10 uur 's avonds tot 6 uur 's ochtends. Niets mis mee, voorgaande nachten zijn ook uitstekend verlopen. Rond een uur of 3 krijg ik het altijd moeilijk, qua slaap. Ik pakte mijn geliefde Telegraaf (de krant van wakker Nederland, begrijp je hem?) en begon in het donker wat te lezen. Ik doe het licht uit vanwege de mutante muggen die er rondzwerven op zoek naar mijn bloed. Deze muggen laten geen gewone muggenbulten achter, nee, deze muggen laten hele blaren achter. Dus nadat ik mij voor de 29ste keer had ingesmeerd met anti-muggen-spul ben ik daar gaan zitten. Ik knikkebolde wat soms maar op zich ging het wel.
Opeens, uit het niets begint er iemand op het raam te bonken. En dan bedoel ik niet het kloppen met de knokkels, maar echt het bonken met de onderkant van de hand. Ja vrinden, er is een groot verschil qua geluid. Een normale klop klinkt aardig en uitnodigend, een bonk daarentegen klinkt alsof er een moordlustige seriemoordenaar met een kettingzaag voor je staat. Ik schrok. Had ik dit gedroomd? Ik kon het me niet voorstellen. Stoer als ik was besloot ik nog enkele seconden te wachten voordat ik me durfde te bewegen. Na zo'n tien seconde besloot ik voorzichtig om het hoekje te kijken. Ik zag niets, daar mijn hele loge van raam is en het verschrikkelijke beangstige geluid dus van alle kanten kon komen. Na nog eens 30 seconde besloot ik naar buiten te gaan. Ik pakte mijn grote maglite, en was van plan hem niet als belichting maar als slagwapen te gaan gebruiken. Ik liep een rondje rond de loge maar kon niets vinden. Ik besloot de rest van het terrein te voet te gaan verkennen in plaats van met de auto. Man, heb ik dat geweten! Ik liep langs een donker stukje van het terrein en scheen mijn maglite in de verte om zo eventueel gevaar van verre te onderscheppen. Terwijl ik op het gedeelte dat zwart werd gemaakt door de nacht scheen begon een paard dat daar in het donker stond te hinniken. Ik sprong een meter of 2 hoog, en besloot nadat ik mezelf hartmassage gegeven had door te lopen. Het paard daarentegen ligt vanavond als stoofvlees op mijn bord. Iets verder kwam een stuk terrein wat zeer begroeid is. Bomen, grote struiken, u kent het wel. Ik scheen op wat bosjes toen daar opeens een drietal duiven uit vloog. Indien ik een shotgun bij me had hadden we vanavond duif gegeten, naast de stoofvlees. Ik heb het rondje met mijn hart in mijn keel afgemaakt. Maar ik heb het tenminste afgemaakt! Nadat ik mijn loge weer zag ben ik keihard naar binnen gegaan, heb de deuren op slot gedaan en heb me tot 6 uur niet meer laten zien.

Ik heb mij karig gedragen ondanks dat ik doodsangsten uitstond. Ik zag het licht! Nog steeds weet ik niet of ik het gedroomd heb aangezien ik aan het knikkebollen was of dat er echt mensen waren. Wel kwam er rond een uur of half 5 een rode Volkswagen Golf langs, met 2 schavuiten erin, die mij voor een seconde of 30 indringend aan zaten te staren. Ik denk dat deze jochies het leuk vonden om mij enigzins bang te krijgen. Nou jongeman, puik werk, dat is je toch maar even mooi gelukt. Vanavond zit ik er weer, kom je dan weer langs?

Stomme Belgen!

2005-08-27T10:45:00.000-01:00

Ik heb besloten mijn posts tot onbekende tijd over te laten gaan in het Nederlands. Dit vanwege mijn luie karakter en mijn beperkte kennis van de Engelse taal (toch Lieze?). Niet dat mijn Nederlands perfect is maar soit. Ik merk op dat ik in het dagelijkse leven steeds meer Vlaamsche woorden ga gebruiken. Dit dankzij mijn innige vriendschappen met bepaalde Vlaamsche Street Team members. Soit, allez, amai, kot. Woorden die ik steeds meer in het dagelijkse leven gebruik. Net als volledige zinnen: 'Ben er mee weg', is daar één van.
Naast mijn krankzinnige ondernemingen om enigzins Frans te leren spreken voor mijn franstalige vriendjes en vriendinnetjes, merk ik ook dat ik steeds vaker in Bleghië rondhang. Dit tot groot ongenoegen van mijn Nederlandsche medestanders die mij een landverrader vinden. 'Woarom goat u doar nou eejn eej! Doar moe u helemoal nie zitten. Da lând is veur paupers!'. Natuurlijk hebben deze goudeerlijke, hardwerkende Brabanders gelijk, maar aan de andere kant hebben we het Vlaamsche accent. Nog nooit in mijn leven heb ik zo'n geil accent gehoord als het Vlaamsche. Naast de Franse taal die mij in deze barre tijden steeds meer begint te boeien is het Vlaamsch een utopie. Vergeleken bij het Nederlandse 'yadayadayadayada' klinkt deze boeiende edoch extravagante taal als een muzikale symphonie vergelijkbaar met de 5e van Beethoven. De moeite die deze mensen moeten doen om hun taal boeiend en onverstaanbaar te houden is onbegrijpelijk. Men neme wat woorden, verbasteren deze tot een totaal onverstaanbaar annex onontdekt woord en noemen het een accent. Een kind kan de was doen zult u zeggen. Maar toch, ergens diep van binnen is deze taal een meesterwerk. Dat mensen een taal zo erg kunnen verneuken tot iets totaal onzinnigs is voor mij een raadsel. Maar who cares, het klinkt zo verschrikkelijk geil.

Dankzij deze boeiend taal ben ik zoveel in Bleghië te vinden. Ik hoop ook van harte dat onze Belgische vrinden hun zoektocht naar de perfecte taal door zullen zetten en ooit, in een verre toekomst hier succes in zullen behalen.
Vooralsnog ga ik lekker liggen luisteren naar het mooie accent van mijn lieftallige Lieze, ondanks dat ik er niets van versta.

Wat een leuke taal is het toch.

Ping Change directions.

2005-08-25T17:17:00.000-01:00

I want to continue on something a friend of mine wrote.

[quote]
Met some great friends, met some best friends, found myself again.!
[/quote]

Especially the last thing she says: 'Found myself again'. She's right you know. Sounds silly, but since I met her I have the feeling that I've met myself. I see myself in a whole different perspective. Have you ever looked in the mirror of your personality and tried to draw a picture of yourself? I did. I saw this cynical and sarcastic girl. I still am that girl. I love to be sarcastic. I love to make fun of people and I love to give rude comments. I'm selfish, I'm putting one friend of mine above 5 total strangers and I know how to really hurt someone. Does that make me a bad person? No, don't think so because occasionaly I know how to listen, how to feel for someone, I can be that sweet girl and if asked nicely I would catch a bullet for my best friends.
I give to charity, I did volunteerwork, if someone asks me to do something for them I will.
So, I can be proud of myself. Are you proud of what you've become?

I'm sure that every one has someone he or she feels connected too.
I think I've found mine. 14.gif.

First day of my cool weekend

2005-08-19T13:21:00.000-01:00

So, not much to update. This is the first three day weekend I have since I started working. It's nice, it's like a short vacation and how I needed this weekend. If I would have worked this evening I would be lying in te gutter halfway of the evening. Nights are cool, but they're very exhausting. Going to bed at 7 am and waking up at 13:00 isn't a very healthy way of living. But who cares, it pays double!

CSI starts again tonight on RTL4 *Jorja drewl* so I'll be quite busy this first day off. I need to clean the car, the house, walk the dogs, shop, cook. I'm a real housewife these days. Not a desperate one, but I do become the thing I hate the most.

Okay, CSI rocked again. Saw the episode already, but who cares? Jorja *drewl*. Anyway, off to bed. It's going to be a very exhausting weekend.

Wouldn't want to miss it in the world.

A girl, a concert and a bottle of champagne

2005-08-18T14:10:00.000-01:00

When I get older, losing my hair,
many years from now,
Will you still be sending me a Valentine,
birthday greetings, bottle of wine?
If I'd been out 'till quarter to three,
would you lock the door?
Will you still need me, will you still feed me,
When I'm sixty-four?


Well, I do hope as a woman that I won't lose my hair, but you get the point.
What will I become in the next 50 years?
I'm hoping a dictator, but if that doesn't work out I'll take my pleasure out of
being happy. Yeah, you heard me correctly, the most selfish person in the
world is going to be pleased with just being happy. Having a nice job, friends
and stuff.
Well okay, that doesn't sound selfish at all, but who cares.
I feel so symbolic at the moment.

Okay, so the real update about my most amazing life! Only 2 more days before
Maanrock! Yeah baby, Maanrock baby!
I'm hoping the frenchies can abduct Elin from that weird little country called
Luxembourg. Or wherever she's staying.
My jumping buddy needs to be there. Altough I have a wonderful replacement
with me. I'm pretty sure this weekend will rock more than it ever did. Sarah,
Lieze and a bottle of champagne.
What a delightful combination.

I just need to work tonight. 10 pm 'till 6 am. And after that a 3 day weekend!
Holy fuck! Who could have imagined that.
Finaly a real weekend, and to make it even more awesome: saturday and
sunday ARE technicly weekend. So it's a REAL three day weekend. Haven't
gotten that since a long time. My life is more than just work. My life exists
thanks to my friends who drag me down to these very cool weekends.

Gotta love'm for that, shouldn't you?

Meet Fluffy....

2005-08-16T12:52:00.000-01:00

So this is Fluffy. Fluffy is a nice little dog. The Flufster is also the destroyer of worlds. Feared by all people, hated by cats, loved by mice.

Fluffy is the man. He's a big time pimp. Our lovely Snoop Dog would insinerate when Fluffy would only look at him. Can't say I didn't warn him, can you?

Fluff is a player man, a real player. He's got the bitches all around him (policital correct!) and they fucking adore him.

Yeah man, Fluffy is a mean motherfucker. This bad-ass mofo has plans to destroy the world as we know it. And he did it before! Do you know the planet Mars? Mars will never be the same after the Flufster went there to insinerate the fucking place.

So, his plans to destroy the world are simple. Kiss Bush's ass to get instant acces to all nuclear gear there is. He has a dream.....

Luckily for us humans help is on the way

These two very cool dudes are superdog and batdog. What's in a name, right? superdog and batdog are here to save the freaking day.
They're here to stay and they will kick this destroyers 'hiney', as they put it.

But unfortunately for us humans they don't have opposable thumbs and the world as we know it will be destroyd by the Flufster.

Life's a bitch.
And my stories suck.
Fuck you.

Another night to remember

2005-08-15T18:59:00.000-01:00

Oh my god, my life is boring at the moment. I'm just sitting here, staring in front of me trying to figure out what to write. Only 5 days left before Maanrock! Woohoo, Sarah! Can't wait to see her perform again. The ambiance is always amazing. So are Belgian people apparently, as she is a Belgian chick. Jupiler *daydreams* Oh sorry, I'm awake again.

Tomorrow I'll start at 10 pm and I'll be finished working at 6 am. Nice ain't it? I love to work nights. I'll be in bed around 7 am and sleep until 1 pm. I'll have another ten hours to live my life on a daily basis. What means that I'll just put my laptop on and write stupid blogs. Nice, ain't it?
How does my day look like? Okay, so in detail it will be something like this:
*13:00 --> get out of bed
*13:05 --> Put laptop on
*13:10 --> scratch head
*13:45 --> burp
*15:00 --> stare at wall like zombie
*15:05 --> finaly get an idea
*15:15 --> put stupid idea on blog
*15:16 --> burp again
*15:40 --> Make sexual remark to *insert name*
*15:50 --> look pleased because of *insert name* getting mad
*15:55 --> appologize to *insert name*
*16:00 --> Look bored to wall again
*16:05 --> Pick up guitar and fuck up a song
*16:10 --> Look pleased again
*16:45 --> wake up again
*16:46 --> look for people online to annoy
*17:00 --> try to figure out what to have for diner
*17:30 --> go to the shop to buy some bread
*18:00 --> eat bread
*18:05 --> go online again
*20:00 --> chat with non-important people like parents
*20:05 --> look for silly pictures and people to make fun of
*21:00 --> wipe off last tear
*21:15 --> go to work
*06:00 --> go home
*07:00 --> go to bed

And so it goes on and on and on and on and on and on. Pretty productive don't you think?

Wir lieben Schnaps

2005-08-13T22:31:00.000-01:00

So here is the unofficial Schnaps song:
It's so good it's so good
Brings me in a very good mood
Schnaps to the left of me
Jupiler to the right
Lalalalalalalalala..

Wir lieben Schnaps
Wir lieben Schnaps
Schnaps Schnaps Schnaps

Okay the song sucks, but I have schnaps, so that could explain why the song sucks. I suck. Schnaps doesn't suck. I love everyone. No I'm not drunk. Okay I am, but don't tell anyone. I can still write so it won't be that bad in the morning.

Okay, so I worked from 3 to eleven, I'm very bored, and I have tomorrow off so I can still be bored. What else do you want in your life? Boredom. Hmmmm...

Okay, to entertain y'all I got a picture of a necrophelic mouse. Wanna see? Seriously. Wanna see?
I love mice. They're so neat. I love schnaps too. I love Jeepers Creepers 2 too. Comedy can change your life.

Cool picture don't you think?
*Offline*

Bongo the tapdancing deformed transsexual

2005-08-13T09:45:00.000-01:00

Have you ever seen a tapdancing, deformed transsexual? Well I did just a minute ago. And ofcourse I can't withold you the link to it: http://www.sterilecowboys.org/archive3/BUNNY.mov

How is it that people love to put there weird stuff on the internet? I mean, the whole world is laughing at you. Please, get a fucking job instead of putting up pictures and video's. Well, getting a job will be a bit hard for our lovely tapdancer, but you get my point.

The first thing that came in my mind when I saw the movie was has to be a combination of 2 things. Namely:

A bit harsh, I know that by now, but unfortunately a freaky coincidence. They both have her/his looks.

The movie rocks by the way.

Drawings and stuff

2005-08-10T09:10:00.000-01:00

Wow, what the hell happened here. Okay so I know this is one of the pictures I gave to Sarah, but I just love this one. You can see that it's been photofucked, but this is my best one yet. And I'm proud of it.
By the way, Gert with boobs, maybe it's me but I do think he looks pretty. No okay, I'm kidding you.
Sarah could have been photofucked better if I'd reduced the shoulders but then again you wouldn't see it anymore. People have problems figuring it out already.
Maybe I'm on my way of becoming a big artist, but for the moment, more than this isn't going to happen. I'll have to figure it all out when I have the time. Photoshop isn't an easy program to use.

Well, didn't wanted to keep you up. I have much more photofucks but some of them are for home use only. I've already invaded the copyright thingy. I'm just waiting for the courtorder to burn every last one of them. Nah, I think they can smile about it and just let it slide.

Love the shoes by the way. Sarah's shoes that it. I love red. I love red. I love red. Did I mention that I love red? Well seriously, I do. I do love red. Okay, I'll stop now. I'm going to photofuck another girl now. She will kick my ass when she's back home, but oi, it's just the artistic person in me. Don't hate me for that. Well, I'm going to find a picture of something very embarassing right now. Ohw god, will she kick my ass.

Dreadfulness and a bucket of beer

2005-08-10T08:39:00.000-01:00

Work. In three hours. For the next ten days. First I have to work 5 days from 3 p.m. until 11 p.m. Nothing wrong with that. But after that I would have one day off. Guess what, I'll have to work from 7 a.m. until 3 p.m. Isn't that nice? Afte that horrible day I'll move into the night again. 10 p.m. until 6 a.m. in Puttershoek. for 4 days. But if I'm correct, I will have that weekend off to visit Sarah in Mechelen with Lieze, yeah. But then again, I hope I can still stand on my feet. But hey, I'm young, I'll kick some ass.

But after those days my life will become unsure. Every week I'll get another new schedule. One positive thing is that every week is a surprise. Negative is that I can't plan anything at all. I still want my day off for Middelburg on september 10th and hopefuly the movie-night-out. I'm trying to look at it in a positive way, honest, I'm trying. But what fun can you have when you can't plan a fucking thing? This Sarah Bettens bbq weekend was my weekend off. Unfortunately they planned everything wrong and I had to sit like a zombie at work. 2 concerts, a bbq, and a lot of work. And ofcourse 2 days before that my seven day workweek. You do the math.

I know it's my own fault. I shouldn't had chosen this line of work, but I love my work very much. Interaction between me and the people, just being happy sitting there, what would a girl want more? I could have been a rockstar you know. No just kidding. I'm happy with my life. I think I did a great job. I have great friends, I have a lovely home, I love my dog, I love my job, I love my family, I love everything in life so far. Not many people will know what I'm talking about. They have a crappy underpaid job, they hate their wife, are allergic to dogs.

I know for sure I will turn out fine. As Sarah would put it: 'I want you to know I'm okay'.
Life is just what you're making of it. Look at it positively, and you'll have a great life. Look at it in a pessimistic view, and the chances that your life will suck just upgraded to 75%.

'Tess, you're almost forgetting the bucket of beer, what's with that?'
Oh, okay, sorry. Just visit a belgian festival. You'll know what I mean. People from Belgium rock. Ah, the one I'm talking about knows it already, but sure, I'll say it again. Belgian people rock.

Copycats in a modern life

2005-08-08T20:57:00.000-01:00

Free spirit is surrounding us everywhere we look. We choose who we love, lose, hate, would catch a bullet for and for whom we would do anything possible. But a free spirit can also be a bad thing. I'll explain that later. Let's say that the country that you live in has a dictator as a leader. You're mobility is gone and the spirit to live has left you long ago. You live in terror, in fear, feeling eyes follow you everywhere you go. That's not human. Humans need to live freely and make up their own thoughts. I classify my freedom as my own personal guide to my life. If I ever need the urge to clear my mind and tell people what I think, I think that is my constitutional right. So far for the optimistic part of my story.

The pessimistic part is about not knowing who you are. Expressing yourself by copying others. By loving the things they love to do, hear or see. Just because you need to have their attention. You never liked the same music as most people like, but as you see that more and more people become interested into that kind of music. so do you. That's copying and that is also fucking annoying. Try to be your fucking self instead of liking what I like. Find your own style, be who you want to be. Don't try to be someone else. You were created in your own beautiful way. That doesn't mean that you need to throw that all away. Stay yourself. Keep listening to crappy music. Watch the most horrible TV shows, like for instance Charmed', without being constantly interupted by the fact that you don't fit totaly in. Who fucking cares. Peopl DO love you for who you are. Otherwise they're one bad excuse for a human being.

This is a beautiful time you're living in. You have everything that you need. Why chase ghosts? The past is long gone. Who cares if you like 'Samson en Gert' and that you listened to K3 when you where little. Fact is that the most beautiful thing there is is being your complete self. With all your flaws and errors. You're not a robot. You're not a copymachine, you're you.

Another weekend down the drain

2005-08-08T18:44:00.000-01:00

Or not.. To be honest, this weekend was the best I had so far.
Met Lieze (who by the way totaly rocks and whom I adore), had 2 concerts and had the bbq.
First stop, Turnhout Belgium. It looked like it was going to rain, but if it had it wouldn't ruin the whole show. The atmosphere was again great and so where the people. Sarah and the guys where awesome and I had the time of my life. Had a small arguement with some idiotic Belgian people but hey, they can't help it. Fuckers.

Next the bbq. First of all I had to work from 7 a.m. until 12 p.m., got my guitars, drums, bass and inspiration with me and drove to Kalmthout. There I met up with the frenchies, the dudes from Antwerp and I took my lisj with me. Too bad Lieze couldn't be there but we can trade her in for something better if needed. The BBQ rocked and so where the people who were coming. The next day.

Worked from 7 till 3 this time and went immediately to the trainstation to pick up Leo. I took my aunts with me and we met up with Lieze in Lokeren. The concert was one of the best ones I have ever seen. Sarah was nice enough to give us a few minutes of her time. The frenchies came too altough they said they were going back to Namur. It rocked. Too bad it's over now. What do I have to do now with all my spare time? My god, I need to get a fucking hobby.

It's a cruel world without my weekends of Sarah and beer. Thank god for that.

Hear the thunder roaring

2005-06-28T20:37:00.000-01:00

The rain is ticking against your bedroom window. The wind is blowing so loudly you can't sleep. You listen carefully. Your room lights up as the lightning strikes over the sky, and after a split second, you hear the thunder roaring. You smile as you imagine all the people in your town listening to the thunder. All of them unable to sleep because of the noise coming from outside. All of them wondering when it will stop.

Sometimes I wish it would never stop. I love the sound of rain and thunder. I love the smell of grass after the rain washed away everything dirty that was on it. I love the sight of lightning in the sky. Finding it's way through the rough particals. The dark sky turns out white when another bolt cracks. It rains harder and harder, the waterdrops collapsing with your roof. The sound of the wind dazzeling through.

Nature's way of telling us to embrace life. Have you ever seen something as beautiful as lightning?

Something to think about

2005-06-23T23:19:00.000-01:00

Women's hearts beats faster than men's. If this is true, why do women tend to live longer than the average male? It's a common fact that women outlive men. But at the same time, their heart has more work to do. Shouldn't women die sooner than *insert male name here*?
So if we count all this up, we could say that it's a good thing to have a high bloodpressure right? Keep that heart pumping baby.

At the same time women are 37% more likely to visit a psychiatrist. So is there a thin line between your heart beating faster and being a complete wackjob? Or is it because the men drive us women crazy? That would also explain the faster beating of the heart. You can choose, let your heart beat faster, or beat your man to death for annoying you.

Harvard studies show that female hormones are used in beer (hop contains phytoeostrogons). Couting this up with our former statements, one could conclude that the reason why men drive women crazy is because of all the hormones, it makes them women, well sort of. We all know how women can be sometimes. But why don't their heart beat faster? Why don't they attend a psych?

This is too much for me to handle right now. All the men drinking beer are driving me crazy. Beer should be banned! If you know the answer to all of this, please tell me, otherwise you're guilty of not making me sleep at night.

Take nothing but photo's, leave nothing but footprints

2005-06-23T21:31:00.000-01:00

As you walk the streets everyday many people observe you, as you observe them. How many people stare at you as you pass them by? How many people forgot you already after 3 seconds? I do the same. People walk by me every day, and none of them stay long in my head. I tend to forget. Who cares? I mean, it's not like I know them. The only thing that can prove they where in my life for just a second are the footprints they left behind. Ephitilials they shedder around. Maybe even a hair that just fell off. But then again, who cares? The wind must have blown it away already.

I walk across the street to the other side, I look if there aren't any cars who can fracture my kneecaps when they hit me. I look to the ground to make sure that I don't tremble over the lose pavement. I reached the other side. I still look down to the ground, thinking of important things in life, like if I will have a cheese sandwich in about an hour. I hear footsteps behind me. I turn around just for a second. You're breathtaking. I turn back as I continue walking, knowing that that one second was enough for me to never forget you.

This one goes out to Lisj, for having her 'Freek' ;)

Abstract humiliation

2005-06-22T21:35:00.000-01:00

Imagine yourself standing in front of hundreds of people, with your guitar. Your eyes lock into the crowd, seeing all those people there, just to hear you. You firmly grab your guitar and try to get the first chord right. That would be an A. You begin to play, you stroke down and up the guitar and need to get the F chord. you missed. A very very unpleasant sound fills the room. You try not to let it get to you and you start the first line of your song. Oh my god did that sound bad. Your voice screeched into the crowd. This must be a mistake by the tech! There's no way you sound that freaking horrible. Altough you are a big star, and everyone knows that you can actually sing, you feel kinda humiliated. You look into the eyes of your fans, terrified. This is all going wrong. Why does the universe has to play with you on such a big event? Fate has it's own little way of herassing you in public. Altough you have the feeling that the crowd didn't notice your slip ups, you still need to be confident about it. You try to ignore it, but it keeps comming back and back, 'What if they've heard it? They must think I'm a joke'.

Ofcourse humiliation comes in all sorts of ways. You can trip over a bananapeel in the middle of a public market, you can mumble when trying to give a speech, you can say something completely wrong to someone, or at least it comes out wrong. Say something out loud wich wasn't meant to come out. Taking the hand of the wrong person in yours. There are so many possibilities to humiliate yourself. I like to do it by tripping over all sorts of things. I just don't have the energy to step up higher, I just wander around. A stair isn't a very safe place for me. On a normal weeks basis I tend to fall down the stairs like three times. The stairs, oh master of misguidance, my arch-enemy. I will prevail! You will not conquer me that easily! I will fight to the bitter end before giving in to you. I will preserve and I will be the last one standing.

I'm going to get an axe now.

Civilization's overrated

2005-06-20T23:03:00.000-01:00

A man, being kicked to shit because he said something to a vandalist.
A girl, raped and left for dead because 'she was just there'.
A mother, killing her only child because it wouldn't stop crying.
A daughter, sexualy molested by her father because the wife 'always has a headache'.
A teenage girl, punched in the face because she turned a boy down.
A 15 year old kid being bullied until he couldn't take it anymore.
A schoolteacher with a mental breakdown because his kids tried to be funny all the time.
A president wanting a war, trying to get one, no matter the price it takes.
Another president, also wanting war because the other president said so.
Drugaddicts killing for a couple of dollars to get their shot again.
Gang related murders, just for fun.

It's a fucking nice society we created here people. As I walk across the streets I see 14 year old kids, hanging out with Bacardi Breezer in their hands. Yelling at everything that walks by. They think they're great, and people are scared of them and they get attention. But the truth is that I ignore them, knowing they could be the next 'Bush'. In about 40 years give or take he could be a powerful person. He could have the power to wipe out an entire country just for the fun of it. He could be the intergalactic ruler of the universe. The new Mao, or the new Mussolini. I know, it sounds a bit harsh, but what if my theory becomes reality? what if an idiotic 4 year old turns out to be the new world leader. The leader that makes you bow before his picture, who dislikes all rockmusic so forbids it, who detests books and bans them. Who hates kittens and decides to drown them all. That would suck.

We make our own society, we make our leaders of tomorrow. you raise your children the way you want and you can fuck them up if you want to. I just want to tell the parents with 14 year old children who just sit outside drinking Breezer: 'Get them a goddamn hobby!!!'. The only reason why we need to be afraid for our future worldleaders is because they fuck them up to be bastards.

Think about it.

Important rules when dating my daughter..

2005-06-13T17:16:00.000-01:00

I'm not planning to have children. I don't even want to get married. But in case I ever change my mind, or get very drunk, I just want to give you some rules in adventage.

My daughter is 16 now. She's a beautiful girl and very mature for her age. You saw her for the first time when you walked across the parc behind the school you two attend. You never even noticed her. But this time was different. She wore her hair losely, and not tide up like she normally does. An incomming jogger didn't notice her and bumps into her. He yells he's sorry as he runs further away from you. You walk towards her and help her get up. You're eyes lock and you're lost. You pick up the books she was carrying and you help her to get to a bench. You ask her if she's alright. She smiles to you and thanks you for your help. She says she noticed you before but never had the courage to say something to you. You smile back and don't know what to say to her. You mumble that you'll take her home.

My doorbell rings. I open te door and see you two standing there. I ask if my daughter is alright and I thank you for taking care of my daughter. A week goes by and you're hanging out a lot at school and after school. Finaly you have the courage to ask her out. I overhear your conversation. I hear how my daughter responds with a firm 'yes'. After my daughter leaves the room I walk up to you. That's when I give you the rules:

1. Arriving for the date.

If you pull into my driveway and honk, you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure in hell not picking anything up.

2. No contact with my daughter in my presence.

You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her so long as you don't glance at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

3. Sex and my daughter do NOT mix.

I'm sure that you've been told that today's world, sex without utilizing a "Barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am a barrier, and I will kill you.

4. Communication with me.

It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: "early"

5. Dating others, a big no.

I have no doubt you are a popular guy, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

6. Make yourself useful.

As you stand in my hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and, more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and look at your watch all the time. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her make-up, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you make yourself useful, like changing the oil in my car?

7. Do not lie to me.

Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless God of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not try me.

8. Ending the date.

Be afraid. Be very afraid. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car. There is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

These are just a few simple rules in the complex universe we like to call 'dating'. If I ever catch you helping my daughter get up when she was run over by a jogger, I will track you down and kill you. Don't say you haven't been warned.

Road trip! I'm going to change my boots!

2005-06-02T19:54:00.000-01:00

You look around you. The sun is shining and the temperature is very nice. You inhale deep and you smell clean air that surounds you. You close your eyes and firmly grab the steeringwheel of your rented convertible. It's been 24 hours since your landing at JFK airport. When you stepped out of the airport you wanted to kiss the ground, but you managed to control yourself. The land of the free, and you're here to make the most beautiful journey of your life.
You start your engine, your heart is pumping while you step on the gas pedal. You drive away with the sun shining above you. There are no clouds in the sky and it's going to be a fantastic day. The airport dissapears slowly in you rearviewmirror. Although you are alone on this trip, you don't feel alone at all. You put a cd in the cd-player and put your sunglasses on. You listen to the smoothingh sounds of Ani Difranco as you continue your journey to the unknown.

Your plan is to travel from New York to Los Angeles. How you'll end there doesn't matter. There are so many possibilities. You look at your map when you're just outside New York. You have all the time in the world. Are you heading north? Via Detroit, Chicago, Lincoln, Denver and Las Vegas? Or do you head south and visit Memphis, New Orleans, Houston, Dallas, Santa Fe and Las Vegas? It's a hard choice to make. You know that you'll be mostly in your car, but you've made sure you've got some time to go sightseeing. You decide to take the south route.

You pump up the volume and push the pedal to the ground. Your journey starts here. You've made your choice. You have decided. This is your plan. There you go.
You pull of from the parkingspace, dust throws itself up behind you as you drive away. First stop; Memphis, let's visit the king of rock and roll.

The wind is blowing in your hair. the sun is still shining after driving for 8 hours. You decide to find a motel. Your jetlag is finaly kicking in. You grab a quick bite to eat and turn in. You've slept for almost 13 hours. You get some breakfast at the gas station and return to the drivers seat. You start your engine for the second time and return to your route. You still need to drive 9 hours before you arive to Memphis. After 5 hours you decide to go for a drink. You stop at a gas station, throws some gas in your car en walk inside. You decide to take some Pepsi with you and a sandwich for in case you get hungry. 4 more hours to go. You drove the four hours in one time without stopping. You've finaly arived in Memphis and you look for a nice hotel. You decide to stay in the Madison Hotel. You go to your room and throw your suitcases on your bed. It's time to visit Graceland.

You walk outside the hotel and for the first time since you arived it's cloudy. The journey to Graceland begins on Elvis Presley Boulevard at Graceland Plaza. You are impresed by the gigantic mansion standing before you. You enter with the tourgroup. You start at the tour by going to re-creation of an airport terminal in wich you take a quick peek at the Hound Dog II Lockheed JetStar plane, and then walk aboard the much larger customized Lisa Marie jet. You are impressed and continue with the tourgroup. You still can't believe that you're in Elvis's actual house. The house where he lived and worked.
Your next destination is the automobile museum. You walk down a landscaped, curbed, tree-lined 'highway' past colorful exhibits of vehicles owned and enjoyed by Elvis. You walk towards the cars and check them out. You think to yourself; 'Wouldn't it be cool to take this one to LA?'. You come to your sences and you come to the conclusion that stealing isn't the answer. After seeing the planes and the cars you're following your guide to some more exhibitions. After the tour you're feeling tired and you convince yourself to go back to your hotel and take a quick nap. Although there is so much more to see and do in Memphis you need to continue your journey.Next stop New Orleans.

You need to drive 400 miles before you reach New Orleans. You decide to take a hotel in the French Quarter. It's three o'clock in the afternoon and you would like to visit some attractions. You visit the Aquarium of the Americas. This is one of the most modern aquariums in the world. The aquarium exhibits include water exhibits of the Caribbean, the Amazon rainforest, Mississippi River and Gulf of Mexico.
New Orleans is a great city and you decide to rest here for one more day. You're walking through the narrow streets and decide to eat something. You walk up to a stranger who is walking nearby. You ask if she knows a nice place to have diner. She directs you to the French Quarter where Antoine's restaurant is. You have a nice meal for only 6 bucks. You return to your hotel so you can go to sleep. The next day you're just hanging in the hotel and you're drinking something in bars. You're smiling. The weather is nice and so are the people. You have the feeling you really fit in.
It's only day six of your journey and you have already traveled 1600 miles. You're getting used to your new and busy schedual. You're not as tired as you was the first day. You're used to the sun shining all day. You're used to the high temperatures and you're used of sitting in you car most of the time.

Today you're going to travel to Houston. You're only going to stay there for the night so you'll be a whole new person before you travel to Dallas. Only 364 miles today. You're hoping you can get there in about 5 to 6 hours give or take. The road is lonely. You've promised yourself to give a call to your family tonight. Call them and let them know how you are. you're happy you're on your own, but it would be nice to have someone next to you in the car. You put yourself over it and continue your way. Finaly you arive in Houston. You decide to check in in the Houstonian Hotel. You've already called in and reserved a room for the night. When you had your diner you pick up your cellphone and call your friends and family. They're happy to hear from you and they're glad to know you're having the time of your life. Time is going fast though. It's day six already and you're halfway. 'What the heck', you think by yourself, 'let's stay another day, let's smell the Houston way of living, taste it, see how it is'. You go down to the lobby and ask if you can stay another day. They tell you it's no problem and you can stay in the same room. You're walking towards the elevator, smiling, hoping the feeling would last forever. That night, you slept like a baby.
The sunlight that comes through the drapes wakes you up. You've never slept that good. You open one of the brochures that are lying on the counter. 'What will I do today?', you ask yourself. After careful consideration you decide to visit the Space Museum first and after that you'll visit Six Flags. You've never promised yourself you wouldn't visit an amusementpark.
you've had the time of your life again. It seems that your little vacation get's better by the minute. The sun is going under already and you feel the last bit of warmth change into a chilly cold. You take a cab back to the hotel. When you get back in your room you open the doors to the balcony. You put on a sweater and you gaze into space. Wondering.

The next day. Time to go to Dallas. Visit the grassy knowl. You're definately visiting the Sixth Floor Museum at Dealey Plaza. Only 238 miles to drive. You're used to the long hours in your car. You like them smell of fresh air as you're driving 80 miles per hour on the freeway. You're smiling the whole way and you're singing along with the tunes of the Indigo Girls. The sky is clouded today, but in spite of that it's still warm. After a few hours you arive at your destination. You're driving through the city looking for a hotel. The first one you visit is the Crown Plaza. Unfortunately the hotel has no more rooms but the clerk gives you the adress of another hotel you should try. As you step into the car you look at the adres the clerk gave you. It's the adress of the Maple Manor hotel. You don't care where you sleep tonight, as long as you can sleep. You're tired from the warm weather and want nothing more than to take a small nap. You've gotten a room in the Maple Manor hotel and you sleep for an hour. When you wake up, you make sure your hair is decent and you go downstairs, asking the clerk what's the best way to get to Dealey Plaza. when you finaly arive at Dealey Plaza you immediately see the museum. You step inside and pay the fare. You've learned a lot about President Kennedy and his legacy.
It's dark when you step into the hotel again. Next stop Santa Fe.

It's a long drive from Dallas to Santa Fe, it's almost 644 miles. You're sure you won't drive it in one day, so you're looking for a motel on the way. After 7 and a half hour finaly see a motel appearing on the horizon. It's late in the afternoon. You grab something to eat and you go to bed early, so you can continue your way first thing in the morning.
Another 7 hour drive would bring you to Santa Fe. It's beginning to rain. You close the hood on your convertible for the first time since you went on this trip. Seeing it rain in New Mexico gives you a special feeling. It doesn't take long before lightning cracks over your head. You've never seen such a beautiful sight. After 2 hours the rain stops. A few hours later you arive in Santa Fe. You're checking in in the first hotel you see, the Alexander inn. You decide to call your family again. You're having the same conversation as before regarding how it is. You still think this is the best thing that has even happened to you. After a phonetalk that lasted for almost half an hour, you go down to the bar and order a drink. You're enjoying Santa Fe. the people are friendly and willing to help a stranger. The bartender tells you that you should visit the Santa Fe rodeo. After you finished your drink you get something to eat. You yawn, time to go to bed. Tomorrow will be another long day.
the Santa Fe rodeo is crowded, very crowded. People with cowboyhats pass you by. You see the toughest men walking towards the wild horses. You also see how these men are being thrown of the horses and fall flat on their ass. You're having a great time. Too bad you need to continue your journey. But don't worry, next stop Las Vegas.

Las Vegas will be a journey of 633 miles. You've slept well and you're ready for the long challenge. You'll find a motel somewhere between Santa Fe and Las Vegas. You turn left on the Paseo de Peralta and you make another left turn so you'll be driving on Cerrillos road. Finaly you see the I-25 in front of you and you have the feeling of total feedom. After 8 and a half hours of driving you check how far you still need to drive before you've reached Las Vegas. You already drove 529 miles and you decide to drive all the way to Las Vegas. After 11 hours you finaly drive onto Stewart Avenue. You are dazzeled by the many lights comming from the casino's. you see a strange light shining in the sky. You drive towards it. the light is comming from the pyramid from the Luxor Casino. You go inside and ask for a room. Once you've put all your bags in your room you decide to do some sightseeing. You walk through the casino. Seeing all these people play makes you wonder if they ever get tired. By thinking of the word 'sleep' you're beginning to yawn. Another clue that you should go to bed. Las Vegas will still be there in the morning.
You're planning to make Las Vegas a 2 day trip.
It's morning and you already asked for some brochures. Your eye drops on a tour to Red Rock Canyon. You decide to take the tour. It's unbelievable, the rock formations are truly breath taking. You're sure your vision on the world will never be the same. Never have you seen suck beauty. It's in the afternoon and you're wondering what to do next. There are so many things to do in Las Vegas. You decide to go to Madame Tussauds wax museum. You make sure someone makes a picture of you and Jennifer Lopez in wax. Another unbelievable day.
You're almost falling asleep when you enter your room in the hotel. Without even changing you fall asleep with your clothes on.
when you wake up the next day you're astonished that you're still wearing the same clothes as you wore yesterday. But you can imagine why you didn't change.
You carefuly read your brochures one more time and you make a descision.
One hour later you're sitting in a dark room. Suddenly a bright light starts moving. You see a stage. Then there is smoke and out of nowhere 8 magicians appear. You're enjoying a two hour show in wich you are dazzeled by the phenomical tricks the magicians perform.
You're walking down the strip, you're on your way to see the fountains of the Bellagio. The show is specialy choreographised. You're curious on how it will be. It's spectacular. You never thought fountains could be that cool. It's time to go back to the hotel. You need to be up early tomorrow for your last journey. The journey to Los Angeles.

This last piece of your journey is only 269 miles long. You're having mixed feelings. You're happy that you're finaly where you wanted to end, but it's a shame that it's almost over. You have a 4 and a half hour drive lying before you. This last bit of your journey is lonely and you miss your family and friends. It's time to go home again. The cheerful sounds of KT Tunstall are filling the air surrounding you. You're humming with the music. Finaly you see a sign saying 'Welcome to Los Angeles'. You keep driving, you know exactly where you want to go.

After crossing the whole city you finaly arrived on your destination. You're breathing deeply and you step out of your car. You take of your shoes. You walk slowly but secure. In the meantime you're taking of your socks. You hold your breath for a moment, tears are in your eyes. You take that very last step. Sand is curling between your feet. You hear the sea gulls flying above you as you are staring in the big blue ocean that is lying before you, and for once in your life, you feel at home.

A dreamers holiday

2005-06-02T09:39:00.000-01:00

I dream about white sandy beaches. I dream about complete silence. I dream about the ocean, and how the salty water travels over my feet. I feel how the sand retreats itself from between my toes and in my mind I follow the sand floating back into the big blue ocean. A new wave comes in, and before the sand has the time to rest itself on the bottom of the ocean it's already back at my feet. The whole circle starts over again. Birds are flying above me. Dolphins jump out of the warm water.

I snap out of my dream and hear a passing car. I look up and see how the car's speed is above the limit. The guy in the car is obviously in a hurry. Is he too late for work? Is his wife having his baby and does he need to race himself to the hospital? Did something happen to a beloved one of him? Is he going to get married and is he already running late? I can only guess.
I close my eyes again and return to my dream about my holiday. I hear a strange noise. Is it comming from within my dream? Or is it external? I don't know. I try to shut the noise out. I try to continue my dream. The sun is shining upon my naked uper-arms. It's quiet again. Suddenly I hear a woman scream. I wake up from my dream for the second time and roll my eyes. I try to figure out where the noise came from. I look up and look around me. I get up onto my feet and walk towards the noise. I go around the corner and see how the passing car from a minute ago had a frontal collision with another car. I reach for my cellphone and dial the emergency service. I ask the woman on the other side of the line for police-assistance and an ambulance. I walk slowly towards the car, not knowing what I will find. I see how the driver is bended towards his steeringwheel. There's blood on his forehead. I ask the man how he feels. I get no respond. I try to feel a pulse. There is a weak pulse. There are al lot of other people standing around the cars. No one dares to take a step forward and help me. The woman from the other car is still screaming. Finaly someone steps towards her and asks if she is okay. I hear sirens. A policecar stops and walks towards me. They take over from me and I walk backwards to the crowd. Another siren, this must be the ambulance. I give my statement and I return towards my bench. As I'm sitting and thinking to myself how this could have happened a police-officer comes up towards me. He thanks me. I ask him of the man is conscious again. The officer nods and returns to the accident. I feel relieved. But it keeps me wondering.

Has our society changed from dreamers into people who hurry all the time? Is our society just a bunch of money-hungry people? Why can't people enjoy their lifes anymore? Why can't people turn up the volume and dream about their futures? Rest, dream about your holiday. Be a dreamer. Don't be so busy, make time for yourself. Try to dream about your favorite holiday, about your future. You have all the time in the world. Why hurry when you're not suposed to?

I'm going back to my dream again. Pearly white beaches and cabana boys.

A thing called karma..

2005-06-02T08:55:00.000-01:00

Go on, go have some fun. But don't forget about this little word called karma. A magical word. What comes around, goes around. What you do to others, you'll get back. What goes up, has to come down eventualy. If you throw it up, you might have the chance it will hit you when it comes down. That's why I say; 'Treat people the way how you want to be treated yourself. Be nice to your neighbours, pet your dog all the time, tell the people you love that you love them, smile everytime the sun shines, help an old lady cross the street, close your eyes and jump into a new adventure.'

I know there are people who think this is all a load of BS. But think of it, what if it it true? Isn't it better to play safe? What could be worse? Telling everybody you think it's a load of BS or comming back in your next life as an ant? I'm playing it safe on this one, because one day, it might bite you in the ass. I won't be bitten. I will become a better person in my next life. If there is a next life that is. There's more than meets the eye. Don't underestimate your life. Don't underestimate the fact that you know nothing. Don't underestimate the power of karma.

There is always something in your life for wich you would go to hell. If there is one. But then again; Shouldn't you play safe on this too? On this one I won't. Fire for the rest of your life? Never being happy again? Nah, this thing about hell is just to unbelievable to believe.
I'll stick with this five letter word called 'karma'. what you do to others is going to be done to you too. I'll make sure I'll come back as a king.

Do not, I repeat, do not underestimate this five letter word.

If I live to be a hundred..

2005-06-01T21:21:00.000-01:00

If I live to be a hundred I would like to have seen the seven wonders, I would like to have lived my life to the max.
There are a few things in your life you should have done before you die. I made a list.
From bungeejumping to see the chinese wall.

If I live to be a hundred I would like to have won a grammy.
If I live to be a hundred I would like to have bungeejumped.
If I live to be a hundred I would like to have seen the seven wonders.
If I live to be a hundred I would like to have the same great friends as I have right now.
If I live to be a hundred I would like to be where I want to be in life.
If I live to be a hundred I would like to have found what I was looking for.
If I live to be a hundred I would like to have lived in the US.

These are just a few things I want to do before I'm a hundred years old.
If I don't see the seven wonders it will be alright. But I don't have my list for nothing. I know exactly what I want and who I am.
I am the spitting image of my father. I got friends who love me. In the end of the day my mother is still my biggest fan. Sometimes I'm clumsy. I know where I stand. I dream about the future. I guess you can say I am a dreamer then. This is all a part of me, this is who I am. These are my dreams, my hopes, and hopefuly my future.

Everything changes, so am I. I'll be on my way while the sun still shines.
I'm shifting my life into drive.
I'm alright, I know I'll make it through.
When I make a big mistake, I'll know I'll be just fine.
There will always be someone to catch me if I fall.
I don't underestimate anything at all.
The world is here to explore.
Open your mind. Find your own paradise.

I'm not scared. I'm just growing up.

Freedom is on my mind today

2005-06-01T17:59:00.000-01:00

Love me with your left hand, leave me with your right.

Mariage, one of the worlds worst inventions ever. 'But you're making a pact, a union. True love deserves that.' It's not a pact. And it's definately not a union. It's a way of making sure that when you split up, you still got your own stuff. When you get a divorce your wife won't be able to take your flatscreen TV because she thinks 'she deserves it'. That's what mariage is all about.
I'm aware that there are still people who believe in their true love. That someday their prince will arive on his white horse while holding a rose between his teeth and asks them to dance.
We all take risks. We all fall down sometimes when it comes to love. We fall down and we get up again. And after a few times on falling hard on the ground, smacking your head against the pavement, you won't fall down anymore. You will find that one person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Maybe you'll even get married. But don't forget, when you're married, your freedom is gone. Your wife wants to know with whom you're going to your favorite sportsbar. Your husband wants to know why you had to work late and why it was with your cute co-worker. But, if your love is real, you can survive all of this.

But when you just thought that the jalousy was over, something terrible happens. Your mother in law comes to visit. She wants to know how her son is doing with that no-good slacker. She critisizes everything. She looks in your drawers and she talks to the neighbours if there are rumours about you getting a divorce. Your freedom is gone again. Just when you thought you had a little bit of freedom again in your relationship, this woman comes along and ruins it all. You ask your sweetheart when she's going home again. You get into a fight because obviously you don't like his mother and wants her out of here. His mother is everything to him and you're not going to take that away from him. You reasure him that that isn't the case. She will be staying for another 3 weeks just to bug you. 3 more weeks with that hag. Can you believe it? Just to get back at you. Maybe a divorce would have been better. What if he is going to be an exact carbon copy of his mother. You beg to your mother in law; 'Please give me my freedom back' and give her 500 bucks to her to leave and never show her face again. Of course she takes the money. She takes the money and goes straight to your love.

You're 6 months further in your life, and your divorce finaly got through.
You meet someone else. Are you strong enough this time to hang in there, and keep saying that mariage isn't the smart thing to do? Or are you going to cave in again, and go through it all over again?

You are... alive

2005-06-01T08:30:00.000-01:00

You are a self-confessed over-worked little school girl who listens Nirvana all day. You are your mother one day and you are your father the next day. You are the one who makes high standards. You are unique and beautiful. You are the confident woman who brings home her first boyfriend. You are the less confident boyfriend who visits his girls parents for the first time. You're a work-a-holic. You're a slacker. You are a fountain of knowledge. You are a little emotional. You're the one who will make all your dreams come true. You're the one who just keeps trying. You are the one who dares to live. You are the one who won't forget. You are close. You are far away. You are the person that never sleeps. You are a crack smoking killer. You are always everywhere. You are someones true love. You're the one who is a shallow girl on wednesday, and a bright and shiny girl on friday. You are predictable, you are mysterious. You are a winner, you are a loser. You are shy. You are over-confident. You are a musician. You are an artist. You are a mother. You are a friend. You are blind and waiting for the sun to come up. You are phobic. You are torn. You follow the evidence. You are a scientist. you are a craftsman. You are a collector of your own thoughts. You are straightforward. You are complex and proud. You exist. You are impossible to live with. You play with fire. You are afraid. You see the world in a totally different perspective. You are a listener. You are a dreamer. You are confused. You never look back. You know what you want. You are an interstellar thief with a machine gun. you are a mobsters hooker. You are ironic. You are an equal. You are so much more.

You can be so many things during your life. Is there a particular reason why we chose to play it safe? I say get out and be that dreamer, play with fire and see how it all ends. Dare to live, love and hurt. But make sure, that when your life is over you look back and you can say: 'Hey, at least I lived.'

Getting old..

2005-05-31T20:46:00.000-01:00

Okay, we're all going to die sometime. You need to embrace it and take it as it is. You can whine and say it won't be so, but it is. But before you die, your body will change. You will get wrinkles, everything is going down to your knees (except for the guys ofcourse), you'll get smaller, your eyes get worse, you'll need a hearingaid. But there's more: technology!

We've embraced technology and we expand our knowledge every day. I know how a computer works, I'm pretty sure you know how a computer works seeing how you're reading this right now. Sounds not to difficult does it? But will it still be this easy when you're 80 years old? Our generation grew up with computers, game consoles, cellphones and much more. My grandmother didn't. My grandmother knew how the TV works, but that's it. Will I turn out to be my grandmother in 60 years?

God I hope not. I want to be the cool grandma. The whole neighbourhood will call me 'Nana' and visit me. When I've my birthday my whole livingroom will be full of people. The little kids can play on my retro X-box and play with my Nintendo DS wich was made in the stone age. Kids will laugh at my laptop and they will try to extend it with the newest harddrives. I love those darn kids. They'll get coca cola and potato chips as they are rolling over the floor, laughing when I tell them about something called a 'playstation 2'.

The present isn't that bad. But will the future be? Fight your future, and make sure you'll be a grandmother just like I will become.

Witness protection program

2005-05-31T17:44:00.000-01:00

Of course it's okay that the witness protection program exists. But why can't we use it when we're dating?

Imagine yourself; you've been asked out by a very cute person. You're happy that someone that cool and cute has asked you out on a date. Your friends had bets on whom was going to date him. You're the lucky one. You've met at a bar and at first, everything seems fine.

It's THE day. You're going out with *insert name here*. You were promissed to go out to diner first and after that get a movie. He picks you up around seven. He explains why he hasn't got a car and asks if you can pay the bussfare. So far so good? No, he ruined it already. He asks you out and you can pay the tickets. You're at the restaurant, he's looking deep into your eyes. You're telling this great story about when you've met your favorite singer/songwriter (who happens to give the advice NOT to marry someone you've met at a bar. Coincident? I don't think so) and he's just nodding and saying yes to everything you say. Ofcourse you try to trick him with the question: 'Are you gay?' on wich he answers 'yes' and just nods. After that he just talks and talks about his ex-girlfriend and about cars and motorcycles. You throw some bread at him and you tell him you want to go. He burps loudly and asks the waiter for the bill. After the bill arives he pushes it your way. 'Sorry honey, forgot my wallet', is his answer.
You mumble to yourself and pay the bill. 'So sweetheart, let's go to the movie', he says. After he says that you throw your cosmopolitan in his face and head for the door. He doesn't take his eyes of you until you're completely out of sight.

The next day your phone rings. It's him telling you what a great time he had and of you could do it again. You're outraged when you hear him and you throw the phone into the wall. 'Remember to get a new phone', you softly say to yourself. Half an hour later your doorbell rings. You open the door and there he is. You almost sufficate in your coffee, spilling it all over the floor. You throw the door shut, hoping he's between it. Too bad, you missed. After ringing your doorbell for 40 more minutes he leaves. Hopefully for ever.

Wouldn't it be nice to have a brand new identity after this? wouldn't it be nice to be someone else? New name, new work, new place. Guys always ruin it.

But it could be worse. There is a small chance that you're still waiting for him to ask you out, since it's so obvious you should be together. That's worse...

What's friendship for?

2005-05-30T20:21:00.000-01:00

A friend just asked me my opinion. Should she go to a funeral alone or shouldn't she go at all? In my opinion friends help eachother out in hard times. I told her I'd go with her. I didn't even knew the woman, but if she thinks it's important for her and to get some closure, why would I be selfish then? I have the time, I love her a lot and she means the world to me. Just like all my other friends. Isn't this something friends do for eachother?

I know for sure that if I asked her to do the same for me that she would. I know for a fact that there won't be a single one of them who wouldn't go with me if they had the time. I have friends in Amsterdam. They're the best. Even they would like to help me in hard times, although they live so far away from me. Times wich are doubtful. The mind has it's filters. Try to remember the best day in your life. Can you remember it? Your best day you've ever had switches almost every time something big occurs in your life. The longer the memory lasts, the more the memory faints. Is that the reason why you can't choose the most outstanding day in your life? Some people who get married say it's the best day in their life, but after a year or four their best day is the day they signed the divorce-papers.

You can't choose the way your life will go and end. But you can choose your friends. And by choosing the right friends you can definately make your life better. So this is the reason why I will attend the funeral tomorrow. My friend will have me by her side. I know she would do the same for me...

The mailingfixation..

2005-05-30T11:13:00.000-01:00

What's the deal these days with e-mail? What's wrong with just sending someone a letter? Okay so it takes longer, it costs more money and you'll never know if you accidentally put the wrong letter in the mailadress. After you've send your e-mail you suddenly have the urge to F5 every two seconds to see if he or she already replied. After 2 hours of F5-ing you finaly have mail. But not from the person you want it to be.

Hello strange little girl,

I just got your mail and it looks promising. So can you tell me about yourself and maybe throw in some nude photographs?

Sincerly + XXX,
A stranger who accidentally got your e-mail instead of the person you wanted to send it to

So okay, is that the worst that can happen? I'll tell you why this isn't the worst thing: Junkmail.. Thousands of KB's of junkmail. All in your inbox. And you're just trying to figure out what you did wrong to receive: 'Free viagra' 'Postorder brides from Russia' and even: 'Jesus loves you, join our weird cult'..

That's the reason why people should just write letter instead. Okay I know that it only happens with a free mail-adress. But it's a strange thing to see how your mailbox gets clogged because of this crap. And at one point, you just don't know what to do anymore. The more you delete, the harder it comes back. It's like a plague. Cockroaches die quicker than your junkmail get's deleted.

So for now I'll just stop complaining and go and write my mom an e-mail. I promised her that..

Freek...

2005-05-30T11:06:00.000-01:00

I guess there's a first time for everything.. One of my best friend 'Henj' just got a new boyfriend whom I like to call 'Freek' (altough it isn't his real name, it suits him).. Freek is such a cute and sweet boy.. And I truly feel compassion for the two of them.. My friend is happy, Freek is happy, I'm happy..

Everyone deserve such a love once in a lifetime.. Most of the people don't find it. Is it because they don't look hard enough? Is it because they don't have the balls to step up to the person they love and say 'hey, wanna go out sometime?', is it because they are so afraid of rejection that they freeze when he/she is in sight? Is it because what others might think? I guess it's hard to say..

My friend took this flight into paradise.. She took her chance.. She did had the balls to do it (okay, that's just weird, but I'm sure you'll understand what I'm trying to say).. I'm trying to figure out what Freek had to be thinking when asking my friend out.. I mean, she is a real catch (altough so is he, but you get the drill) , she's smart, funny, cute, a real people person.. Was he thinking; 'She is the reason for a thousand movies, and she is the inspiration for a million lovesongs.. How can I make a chance in hell?' or was he so confident that he knew she was going to say yes when he asked her out? Didn't he think at all and was he just blinded by the fact that his heart went faster everytime he saw her? Who can say.. I'm just happy he did have the balls.. (this time it's anatomicly correct so don't whine)..

In the end, it doesn't matter.. When your chance on happiness arives.. Don't think about it.. Just do it.. Just like my friend did..

So, all I'm really trying to say is : FREEK RULES!!!!!!!

I'm going to wait another 5 days.. After that.. My Freek leaves...

Thanks guys..

2005-05-26T11:15:00.000-01:00

Thanks guys.. For another great concert.. Hope to see you soon..

Tommy

2005-05-26T10:56:00.000-01:00

Too bad for the hand but this is Tommy.. Tommy is the old keyboardplayer for Das Pop.. He's great.. Have fun Tommy ;)

Eric Grossman on bass ladies and gentleman..

2005-05-26T10:55:00.000-01:00

Eric rocks.. That's all I can say.. He's a very sweet guy and a freaking good bassplayer.. Always fun chatting with him.. :)

Brady Blade.. Pretty Blade..

2005-05-26T10:54:00.000-01:00

Brady Blade ladies and gentleman.. Pretty Blade.. This guy totally rocks.. I'm glad he's aboard..

What can I say?

2005-05-26T10:49:00.000-01:00

Curtiewurtie *O*

Miss. rock and roll herself and her husband..

2005-05-26T10:22:00.000-01:00

Another Paradiso picture.. And A nice one if I might add.. The king and queen of rock and roll ladies and gentleman..

Sarah, Gert and Curt. Hey that rhymes..

2005-05-26T10:18:00.000-01:00

Sick.. Very sick.. Slept until 12:00.. Curt, the new kitten, just lay down on the end of my bed doing nothing.. He's lucky.. He has a great home.. He's got a mom to take care of him..
Listening to 'Stuck in the middle with you' covered by Sarah all day.. I'm busy to optimize my singing-qualities so I can sing it flawless.. It's a great song to play on the guitar so look it up at www.ultimate-guitar.com or www.tabsrus.nl..
Luckily I have the pleasure to watch Canal+ all day.. So I won't get bored.. Still need to walk Sarah and Gert.. My 2 dogs.. The blonde one is Sarah and the black one Gert.. They're great.. Sometimes they like to destroy the house.. Today they got a hold of my xbox controllers.. That sucked.. But well.. Can't do nothing about it can you? They're young.. They will grow out of it..

Sarah during Paradiso..

2005-05-26T10:14:00.000-01:00

A nice picture of Sarah Bettens during the Paradiso Gig.. Great concert.. Great atmosphere.. And again she proves she's the best person to stalk :P

Being funny 101

2005-05-14T17:56:00.000-01:00

Since I have absolutely no humor I would like to give the word to my alter-ego 'XxXFunny_GirlXxX'.

'Hiiii guys...

Please... Please that's enough.. Sit down.. No more applause.. Please sit down... Thank you.. Thank you..
First of all I would like to say hiiiiiii.. I'm very glad to be here...
Hi mom... Please stop clapping... Love you too..
Your dinner is in the fridge... What do you mean what's for dinner? I have a show to run here.. Ask your son to help you... No, his name isn't idiot.. It's ricky....... ............ No that's your husband.. Mom, let go of the bottle... I said let go... Now... I'll pour it all down the drain if you don't let go right now.. Thank you...
No mom, I won't throw it all away.. Mom, did you take your medication? No?...... Oh damn.. So who's talking now?... Okay, hello Thomas... Can you please let me talk to my mom?...... She's having a conversation with Elvis? Is he in there too? .... Oh great...
Security... Will you please show her the way out? Thank you..

So where were we? Oh yeah.. Being funny 101..
The first thing you need is............ Who let her in here? Get her of me.. What the... Are that explosives? Security? SECURITY? This is soooo ironic...
Every year during Christmas when I am putting up the lights, I always blow up the house.. And yet I feel strangely threatened..

Let me tell you about my childhood..
My mom has always been drinking.. Ever since I was a little kid.. When my mom's red wine specialy made in India was finished, she would take me and my moron brother to India for another bottle.. I never understood why she just didn't ship it over with the help of Ebay or something like that... But then again, the trips where fun.. The floating bodies in the Ganges where a fine trampoline.. Cow riding was better than in our Ford from '65.. The suspension wasn't what it used to be..

Okay.. So my childhood was weird.. Like yours was any better..
Oh forget it.. No one understands me like my mom... Fuck off...

I'm comming mother...'

I should have taken my medication today....

Gotta go..

Everything comes to an end...

2005-05-14T14:43:00.000-01:00

And so Sarah left Holland again.. Who the fuck is Sarah, do you ask? Well, Sarah Bettens.. Only the best singer/composer in the world...
It sucks to see her go.. As one of the 'stalking' fans it's never okay to see her leave...
How the hell should I stalk her in America? I mean, I live in Holland.. This sucks..
My addiction, what did you do?

Ohw yeah, my first post on my blog..
So my name is Tessa and as you just read I'm a huuuuge Sarah Bettens fan.. Furthermore I love snowboarding, playing my guitar, playing my drums and playing my bass...
I have two dogs called Sarah and Gert (weird isn't it?) and two cats named Benson and Hedges.. And ofcourse I shouldn't forget Max... Max is my kingsnake... Don't worry, he's behind glass..

Next to this I have 2 tattoo's.. 1 of a gekko.. And one is the symbol of the CD 'Almost happy' by K's choice.. I have an eyebrow piercing and love doing weird..

I'm on the streetteam of Sarah Bettens, wich means that we make PR in our neighbourhood.. (And with our neighbourhood I mean almost everywhere I come)

If my story made you interested in this wonderful girl, just look at her homepage, wich is www.sarahbettens.com ... And if you're interested in a picture.. Here's a link.. On her left is the amazing Eric.. And on her right is the always awesome Curt.. Whom we adore... http://www.sarahbettens.com/images/pics/Montreux01-small.jpg

Cheers..

What the fokque?

But I'm mostly very tired

My love cliché

It's been a while

This was my year

I don't get moved by much

Until I'm fine

What a shitty day

Another boring blog

Falling feels like this

Take my hand, we'll make it I swear

The next thing I find

Am I that easy to ignore?

Politiek

What if

Nederland...................

Woowoowoowoowoodface!

Vliegen: Geniaal edoch levensgevaarlijk

Und etwas im Deutsch

Subtle!

Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind

Gawd gawd gawd gawd

Boem boem Nederland

Newsflash

Fuck me!

Amerika!

Oh en natuurlijk niet vergeten

Hoe voel je je nu deel 37583

My wake up call

Mommy mommy!

Tijden veranderen

Nut-te-loos

Everybody hurts

It looks like I'm making a comeback

Dingen die mijn moeder me geleerd heeft

I feel like flying

Sometimes a few words are enough

It's fucking unbelievable

It would be nice

Little update

Beloofd is Beloofd, helaas

Kort maar krachtig

Hoe voel je je nu deel 29483

Zo hey!

Fundamentalistische vlamingen

Idealisme

Potverdriedubbeltjes nog aan toe

Stomme Belgen!

*Ping* Change directions.

First day of my cool weekend

A girl, a concert and a bottle of champagne

Meet Fluffy....

Another night to remember

Wir lieben Schnaps

Bongo the tapdancing deformed transsexual

Drawings and stuff

Dreadfulness and a bucket of beer

Copycats in a modern life

Another weekend down the drain

Hear the thunder roaring

Something to think about

Take nothing but photo's, leave nothing but footprints

Abstract humiliation

Civilization's overrated

Important rules when dating my daughter..

Road trip! I'm going to change my boots!

A dreamers holiday

A thing called karma..

If I live to be a hundred..

Freedom is on my mind today

You are... alive

Getting old..

Witness protection program

What's friendship for?

The mailingfixation..

Freek...

Thanks guys..

Tommy

Eric Grossman on bass ladies and gentleman..

Brady Blade.. Pretty Blade..

Ping Change directions.